I gasp as I hear her again, which only makes me gag a second time. Even as my stomach screams to stop, I unwillingly retch again. Nails rake their way through my matted hair, and the sting sends electricity through my back, eliciting even more pain. I can feel the burns on my shoulders, and my muscles tense as the shocks return. The prod isn’t at full force this time, but I can still feel it. My body seizes, and I shake as I try to call out for her, willing to beg if she’ll just make it go away.
“I’m right here. Don’t worry. I’m right beside you.”
She speaks again, and as I start to dry heave, the warmth starts to come back. Her caress finds my cheek, but I flinch the moment I feel a drop of water against my chin. I try to thrash, not wanting it to taint her, but then soft hushes soothe me. My body continues to twitch and quake, but my strengthstarts to waver. The water doesn’t smell as harsh, and as a soft fabric grazes my lips, I smell her again. I take desperate breaths, needing to absorb the scent. The burning in my stomach starts to fade, and a larger heat drapes over me again.
Weak…
They come through again, and my spine tingles. She’s fighting them, but she doesn’t know how strong they are. She doesn’t know what I’ve done. Will she still wage a war with these demons after she learns of my sins? Will she still view me as worthy when she sees how far I’ve fallen?
“You’re so strong, Damien. You’re doing great.”
Liar…
Don’t call her that.
Unholy…
I know I am.
Soft lips press against my forehead, and I try to reach out for her, but I’m unable to move. I can still faintly feel my palm against her and the soft ripples underneath. It’s not enough. I need her against me. She needs to sink into the warmth with me. I want her to hold me. Her touch pulls away, and I think I might die. My stomach flips again, and it takes the air from me, making it hard to breathe. Pain radiates through my lungs and then they explode with a gust of air. Plastic covers my mouth and nose, and immediately, warnings sound out in my mind.
Not the mask.
Please, not the mask.
I take it back.
I’ll take the water.
Feccia…
I lash out, desperate to fight them off, but the restraints are almost instantly forced back in place, and my heart starts to race. My eyes pry themselves open, and I’m met with nothing but blonde locks and blue eyes.
Serena?
“It’s okay, Damien! Breathe! I need you to breathe now,” she instructs me. I want to try, but I know the mask won’t let me. The anticipation of that pain again won’t allow me to. I fight against it, desperate to avoid the agony another time, but my lungs begin to burn more intensely. The room starts to spin, and as Serena tilts with it, her voice starts to fade in and out. She tears her gaze away, and I almost miss the worry on her face. “Ashia, don’t!” Serena yells through the void, and warmth on both sides of my cheeks brings the roller coaster to a halt. As my eyes focus again, I see nothing but gold. My amber beacons are staring down at me. She’s upside down, though, like we’re back on different planes of existence.
“It’s okay, baby. I need you to breathe now, okay? Take a deep breath with me.” She inhales dramatically, and even though I’m terrified to feel the pain again, I do just as she asks—unwilling to defy her. The air rushes in, but it’s not as painful as last time. My lungs take their fill, then they tick, and I can’t help but cough and sputter into the mask. It hurts. It all fucking hurts. “That’s great! Do it again,” she demands, and I comply without question. They fill a little easier this time, and when I let it all out, it flows even smoother. Tears trail down her face, but there’s a relief there that soothes the sting.
Sting.
I don’t want any more…
Wicked…
The room starts to spin again, and the edges of my vision start to fade.
“Just go to sleep, baby. I’ll be right here. I promise. Close your eyes.” Her touch starts to fade with the rest of the room, and as her golden irises sway, only her sweet scent remains.
Chapter 4
Damien
The Next Day
Feccia…
My eyes flutter open, and while it's still fuzzy at first, it's clearly brighter. The ceiling that was once dark, neglected stone, is now a soft white. Sunlight pours in from windows that aren't normally there, and as I force myself to look around the room, a stillness overtakes the space. It's calm. There’s a soothing essence here, and it’s one that I used to know so well. I try to move my arms, and while my back and shoulders strain with the effort, Iamable to move them. The shackles are gone. My hands graze against something soft and plush, sending comfort through my body.
