“What if she doesn’t forgive me?” I ask quietly, afraid of their answer. The guys both snap towards me, visibly confused.
“Who?” Alex asks with a crinkled forehead.
“Ashia.”
“For what?” Zeke asks audaciously.
“Everything I did for them… The assignments…” I whisper, afraid that if I think of it, the voices will come back. They look at each other and then back to me with relieved faces. Alex just scoffs dismissively.
“If she doesn’t hate you now, D, I’d say you're in the clear. I doubt tonight changed anything.” Zeke’s tone is confident, unwavering.
I wish I could match it.
“I haven’t told her any of it yet,” I admit. Zeke squints his eyes in confusion, and Alex’s jaw hangs slack, completely dumbfounded. Now my head is filled with nothing but air and uncertainty, sensing that we’re not on common ground. “Am I missing something?”
“Have you not talked to her at all?” Alex asks, almost offended.
“Of course I have. But not about that.”
Alex nudges my arm, growing more impatient by the second.
“Dude, she already knows everything. I figured at least Victoria would’ve said something to you.”
I think my head explodes. My heart falls to the ground and the world stops turning. There’s no way I heard him correctly. It’s not possible that I’ve missed this theentiretime.
“What?!” I practically scream.
“She knew before you even woke up,” Zeke interjects. “Once Ash got to the house, when we brought you home, she flippedshit on Victoria. She slashed her arm, shoved a knife to her throat, and told her if she didn’t tell us everything that happened, she’d slit her carotid. I'm not going to lie, D. I might be more scared of my sister than you at this point.”
“Seriously,” Alex agrees. “I never thought Victoria would leave that damn room.” He shakes his head once again for emphasis.
“Why wouldn’t she leave her room?”
“After they got done talking, Ash threatened her.” Zeke shrugs his shoulders like it’s no big deal. “She said if she ever saw Victoria again, she’d get a bullet to the skull.” My eyes almost fall out of my sockets. “Of course she wouldn’t, but Victoria didn’t know that. She just didn’t want you to see her until you were lucid. We were afraid it’d trigger you, so she just scared her into staying away.”
I stop beside the car, trying to wrap my brain around what they’re saying. She’s known thewholetime? Not once has she looked at me differently. She hasn’t been upset with me, or angry about anything I’ve said or done since I’ve been home. Ashia has shown me more patience and grace than I’ve ever encountered. She’s taken every moment of my bullshit since I opened my eyes, and not once has she made me feel like a burden for it.
“Why wouldn’t she say anything?”
“She didn’t want you to feel like you had to talk about it with her until you were ready. She didn’t want to push you. Plus, Alex is right, I thought Victoria would’ve told you. You seem to be talking to her more than Ash,” Zeke says with an attitude, his playful demeanor vanishing. He actually sneers at me, and I’m taken aback by it.
“That’s not true…” I argue back, though I’m not so certain. Zeke shrugs his shoulders, keeping up his new attitude, and it makes my stomach churn. I think back to the past few weeks, looking at it from his perspective. I only confided in Victoria because I thought I would scare my wife away. Victoria wasthere. She knew what happened and what we went through. There was a level of understanding that I didn’t know I already had with Ashia. I’m so conflicted. A part of me is relieved now that I know there’s no ice to break, but I also feel even worse about myself.
“Seemed that way from the outside,” Zeke fires back.
“Ashia doesn’t think that…does she?”
“She hasn’t said anything, but if looks could kill, Victoria would’ve died ten times already,” Alex reveals while I check my phone. Lilah, the girl with the blanket, agreed to meet at the parlor. Which is a good thing, because now, the ice cream is essential.I have a lot of apologizing to do.“She loves you, D. You shouldn’t worry.” Alex pats my shoulder like he would a child.
“I'm not anymore, I thought she didn’t know anything.”
“See, I thought you were being distant because shedidknow.” Zeke drops down into the car, then yells, “Now let’s do this shit so we can get you home to your wife! I don’t like us being away for too long.”
Well, at least I’m not the only paranoid one in the group.
Chapter 18
Damien
