“Torch this piece of shit.”
I throw the lighter inside, admiring the fire as it whooshes to life. Smoke quickly begins to billow out from the doors, and we take that as our sign to leave. Nothing I’ve done so far has felt as satisfying—as relieving—as this does. Even through all of the destruction I caused looking for Damien, it doesn’t compare to this. It feels good,reallygood, and that might be something I’ll have to sort out later. But for now, I’ll be able to sleep better knowing that it’s gone.
My tired body aches as I walk downstairs, having to squint my eyes from the late-morning sun beaming through the large living room windows. John is standing in front of them, of course, sipping coffee like it’s any other morning as he turns around to meet my gaze.
“Good morning, dear,” he says lovingly.
“Morning.” As I step on to the main floor, my stomach rumbles, and then the baby starts kicking immediately after. I start walking towards the kitchen to make everyone breakfast, giggling to myself. It makes me think of a time not so long ago when Damien bet I wouldn’t be able to cook for a hundred people. I feel pretty prepared now, though. “What are you doing?” I ask John as he continues to stare out into the yard.
“I’m looking at the smoke swirling in the sky. The news said there was a structure fire at the base of the mountain.” I open the refrigerator, trying like hell to avoid looking at him, and pull eggs and milk out.
“Oh, really?” I pretend to be oblivious.
“Yes. It looks pretty big,” John says in a tone that I would consider taunting, at least in his stoic nature, and I turn back to the kitchen island.
“Well, that’s a shame,” I brush it off. He makes his way into the kitchen, standing opposite of me as I crack eggs into a mixing bowl.
“You wouldn’t know anything about that, would you?” He raises a brow, leaning against the granite top on his elbow. His face contorts into that half-proud, half-cocky grin, just like Damien’s, and I have to bite back a smile.
“Nope,” I lie, but he already knows that. He smirks at me and turns to walk back towards the window, taking my answer for what it is. I return to the fridge to pull out some blueberries and bread, when Serena and Damien walk down the stairs. Ser’s back to wearing one of her crop tops and pajama pants, surely to tease Carter, while my hot husband is shirtless—again. It really isn’t fair for him to be so damn attractive, and if our situation was different, we wouldn’t be downstairs at all.
“His heart rate and blood pressure are good. There’s no change from yesterd—oh, hell yeah! You’re making french toast explosion?” Serena squeals and practically skips over to the kitchen.
“French toast bake? Yeah, I am.” I laugh and start to pull the bread apart as Damien walks over to me. His hair is dangling in his face, and while I can tell he’s annoyed with my best friend, he grins at me anyway. “Good morning, handsome.”
“Good morning, my love.” He kisses my cheek and stands beside me, almost a little standoffish, but I try not to take it to heart. I’ve noticed lately that whenever he gets too close, he starts to back away, like he’s afraid he'll hurt me. It breaks my heart a little more every time, because I can see the yearning in his eyes. Iknowhow badly he wants to be close to me, but I’m afraid to push him. So, I don’t say anything. I sit by and wait for him to come to me. He may not know exactly what DeLuca and Saconne did to him, but it’s clear that a part of him feels it. Something in his head is telling him to keep a distance, and I won’t dare force him to do otherwise.
“Oh, Ash! Look at these bottles I found!” Serena slides her phone across the island over to me, and after I put the dish in the oven, I look it over. Damien steps up to stand directly behind me to glance over my shoulder, curious as well. When his scent invades my senses, I can’t help but lean into him a little, wanting to soak it in. His head rests against mine, and while it mightnot be much compared to our normal affection, it still has my heart fluttering in my chest. When his hand moves to cradle my belly, I have to refrain from melting against him like I want to. “Apparently, those are the best ones to use while breastfeeding, because they’re shaped the same as a real nipple.”
I can’t help but chuckle and avoid looking over at my father-in-law. All of this is normal conversation, sure, but Serena has always been much more abrasive than me. I also would've been a little quieter about it.
“The Dr. Brown’s bottles are good, too.” I look over at Victoria, reacting to her voice as she walks in from the home gym, sweating and panting softly. “I used those for Elizabeth. They’re good for preventing colic.”
I look back down at Ser’s phone and then over at Victoria again, battling with myself. Even if I don’t end up taking her advice, it’s nice that she gave it, and I suppose after last night, I can give her some grace.
“Thanks. We’ll look into those.” I grin at her briefly before handing Serena her phone back. Damien kisses the top of my head, seemingly grateful, when Carter walks in from Damien’s office. Apparently, just because we’ve found our way into the kitchen, that means everyone else needs to congregate here, too.
“Here’s your new phone, D. I managed to restore all of your photos and contacts.” He holds it out for Damien to take, and I can only hope that he doesn’t look at it right now. The Attic’s software isn’t on this phone yet. I asked Carter to leave it off for now so Damien doesn’t try to go back to work too soon. But as he takes the phone and immediately opens it, I know that’sexactlywhat he’s looking for.
“Where’s the system, Carter?” he asks accusingly, like he knows we did it on purpose. I can feel him tense behind me, and I anticipate his reaction. He’s clearly upset, but I’m hesitant to turn around. It’s my fault that he’s so upset. When Carterlooks over at me for an answer, Damien slouches behind me, understanding it was by my demand. “Don’t look at her. This is not her fault.Iasked you to make sure thateverythingwas there.”
Well, shit. I didn't know that.
“I know, D. We just thought that—"
“It’smyfucking organization,” he cuts in angrily. “If anyone has a problem with me wanting to go back to work, then they can talk tomeabout it. Until then,I’lldecide when to go back to it. We don't have much time to find that piece of—” He stops himself and shakily inhales, willing himself to get it together.
I should’ve talked to him about keeping the Attic’s software off his phone for now, but he hasn’t said anything to me, either. Apart from him telling me not to worry about him, I don’t get much else. I just wanted to give him as much time as possible, knowing that he’s far from okay. He’s waking up more and more, and he gets so lost in his own mind sometimes that it’s like he’s not even here. I’ve been able to bring him out of those dazes, and most of the time, I can soothe him back to sleep. But I’m not sure how much longer he can keep going like this.
“Never mind, I’ll do it myself.” He pockets his phone and starts to pull away from me.
“Damien…” I turn to talk to him face to face, finally getting the guts to try and get him to open up, when Alex walks up from behind him.
He reaches out to console him, but the moment his hand touches Damien’s shoulder, time both halts and speeds up all at once. Fear overcomes his face in an instant. His eyes widen, and it’s like everything around us changes. A blanket of darkness coats his irises, and pure, unfiltered rage takes over.
Before I can even register it, he snaps around and grabs Alex’s throat, shoving him back into the other set of cabinets. Damien’s muscles are taut and strained, using so much force that the veinsin his forearm rise to the surface. Alex cries out in pain and claws at Damien’s wrist to stop him, but it does nothing. Damien’s hold tightens, and he bares his teeth, allowing his rage to flood him.
“Damien!” I dart over to him, only to be held back by Serena’s tight grip. As I try to jerk away, Carter manages to slip between him and Alex, using all of his force to push him back. Damien’s eyes widen and his jaw drops in the most heart-wrenching way when he snaps back into reality. He jerks his hand back like he was burned, and his eyes water at the sound of Alex’s coughing.
