My lip trembled and before I realized it, my knees gave out as Drew caught me. I spent my entire life alone. There had been no one in my life who cared for me and wanted me in their lives, or to be with me when the darkness took over. Annika pulled me into her arms, holding me tightly. I hugged her, burying my face into her neck as I sobbed. My heart hurt. There was so much anguish inside me it felt like I would shatter, but I wasn’t alone. Annika and her guys were my family. They cared about me and wanted me to be safe.
“Let’s get back inside,” Drew whispered. “And then we can talk.”
I nodded, using Drew to pull myself up as I leaned into Annika. When we got inside, Annika sat down next to me on the couch. “I thought I was okay.”
Drew ran his hand down my back, pausing for a second to make sure I was okay. “Did you ever process what happened to you?”
I shook my head, sighing. “No. I ran from my police detail and bought a train ticket. My wound was still fresh when I got here. I was worried more about finding a job and surviving to the next day. Dealing with the emotional scars of being raped and almost killed wasn’t really high on my priority list. I went to therapy and talked to Dr. Williams, but I guess that didn’t do much because look where we are now.”
“After what Blaize did, it’s your body reacting now. You can try to ignore it, but you will still live with it.”
“You sound like you speak from experience.” I bit my lip as the words escaped me. “I’m sorry. That’s none of my business.”
“No, you’re fine. I’ve dealt with a lot of tragedy in my life and never processed it, but I also had to protect my sister. I hate myself every day, being unable to protect her and letting her get hurt the way she did.”
“I didn’t know you had a sister,” I mumbled.
Annika brushed her hands through my hair as she looked at Drew. “I do, but I failed her, and I had to live with it. I know how it feels being defenseless while someone you love fights their demons alone.”
“You’re not alone anymore, Kadence,” Annika said as she took my hand. “You got a fucked up little family with a bunch of shared trauma. We heal each other every day. You don’t have to be scared anymore.”
Theo crouched down next to me. “We are all fucked up, but we are a family. You are a part of this family now, and we don’t let anyone suffer alone in their darkness.”
Annika reached for Noah’s hand and pulled him closer. “I am not letting you suffer alone. We are conjoined at the hip now.” Annika laughed. “You, me and my guys.” The family I always needed.
CHAPTER 7
BLAIZE
The grave had been my solace, but I knew if Olivia had been there, she would have been scolding me like everyone else. I never questioned my morals, my motives. I was confident in my decisions, always knowing how to react, what the next step in the plan was. But the fear in Kadence’s eyes kept dancing through my mind, and regret tugged at my heart. The cold organ in my chest was craving forgiveness, something I knew she wouldn’t give me, not anytime soon, anyway. How could I be mad at that? I had hurt her. I had made her relive her assault again. I was the one who let my emotions cloud my judgement, just like I had before when I destroyed the Vandals.
I ran my fingers through my hair, dragging my hands down my face and letting out a long sigh. “I fucked up, Livvy. I do that a lot lately. It felt like the night I lost you. There was so much rage inside me, it clouded my judgement. She was innocent. I always said I would never hurt an innocent person, and here I am.” I sighed. “God, she reminds me so much of you. The determination, the ability to hide her pain, the attitude. Hunter says that’s why I like her. It feels wrong, but she…”
Fuck.
“I love you, Livvy. I knew you had something to do with this.”
After spilling my guts at Olivia’s grave, I said goodbye to my girls and shot a text to Hunter, asking what I needed to do to fix this. Hunter had hoped that Kadence would forgive me and we’d ride off into the sunset on my Harley, but something like this was not easily forgiven. Why couldn’t she just tell me who she was and why she had come here in the first place? Why was I so passionate about finding out everything about this woman that it made my bones ache?
I was going to fix this, even if I had to crawl through hell and fight the devil himself to earn her forgiveness. I’d made a lot of mistakes in my life, fought demons human and mental alike, but this was the one thing I refused to destroy. The devil might be on my doorstep, but he didn’t send Kadence to torture me. I should have realized that before it was too late.
I needed to check on Hawke. The entire motorcycle club was in shambles with Layla’s death and Fallon in the ICU. My club was fractured at its heart, and I knew the person who was causing this chaos was waiting to strike again. No one had a solid head on their shoulders, nor did we have people patrolling. I wasn’t that much of a bitch to force my people to be okay when I was on the verge of shattering myself.
Hunter
Start with flowers. Roses. And a note. She needs vulnerability and space. Go from there.
And you need to grovel.
Blaize
I’m going to ruin this more.
Hunter
Maybe, but you can’t fix this by waiting. You fucked up, now you gotta pay the piper.
Blaize
