“I really hate you.”
“Suck it up. If Kadence is going to forgive you, you need to give her something in return. You wear a mask. She needs to see you without your shields.”
Thoseshieldshad protected me for years. If I let someone into my stone-cold heart, like Kadence had attempted, she could be used against me. Olivia and Charlee were my weakness, my soul, and losing them took a part of me. The void left behindwas filled with sorrow and longing that never faded. I buried my emotions behind a strong facade, but beneath it was a dormant volcano, fueled with unresolved emotions.
That volcano erupted the moment Kadence Hayes had wiggled her way into my life. I didn’t know what it was about her that had made my heart reanimate, but it did. She had felt like a warm, sunny day, while I was living in a snowy tundra.
And I went and fucked it all up. I glanced at the photo of Olivia and Charlee I had on my desk, mentally smacking myself. If Olivia had been there, she’d have read me the riot act. I was a killer, but I didn’t hurt innocent people until that night. Kadence would never forgive me for the pain I had caused her. The cold, dead organ in my chest needed to shrivel up and stay dead instead of sparking to life when I was near her.
“I need you to find her father and this gang. I want everything you can find so I know if Kadence is in danger.”
“Already on it.”
“What do I do?”
“You went on a date with her, you started the process. Now you need to try to repair the damage you did.”
“You saw the way she left the clubhouse. She won’t ever want to see me again.”
Hunter rolled her eyes. “You’re Blaize fucking Mathews. You always get what you want. If you want Kadence, go get her. It’ll take a shit ton of groveling, and you’ll have to give her a few mind-blowing orgasms, but if anyone is good at getting what they want, it’s you.”
I interlocked my fingers, cocking a brow at Hunter. “You’re mental if you think she’ll touch me after what I did.”
“Kadence loves you. We might be good at hiding our emotions, but that girl isn’t. I read her scars and read her pain like a book. From the details Drew has told me, she had a rough home life, adding to what she endured. She never had stability.”
“You’re not helping.”
“Kadence is grown. She knows what she wants. It’s going to take a lot for her to trust you again, but you need to let your guard down and let her in.”
“When this blows up in my face, I’m blaming you.”
She shot her hands up. “I wasn’t the one who fell in love and then ruined it.”
CHAPTER 6
KADENCE
My body lurched forward in bed, the cotton sheets tangled around my limbs. Sweat kissed my body, dripping from my brow as my heart thundered in my chest.I couldn’t breathe.The nightmare still had its icy grip wrapped around my mind, preventing me from focusing on the moment. Nausea swirled in my stomach, but I had nothing to throw up.
I needed to get out of here.
I couldn’t stay here.
What was the point of staying in a place that caused me misery? Westhaven should have been my peace, but now it was my prison. I had nothing, but I couldn’t stay here.
I stumbled out of bed, fighting with the sheets as I tottered against the floor. The only reason I didn’t fall was because of the dresser next to the bed. I couldn’t do this. Hunter said it was time to stop running, but that was the only thing I knew how to do. If I wasn’t running from my pain, I had to live with it. And right now, it was screaming at me. There had to be a different place in this godforsaken country where I could just be myself.
My hands ran down my face.Why couldn’t I have a normal fucking life?There was nothing but this sorrow and anguishdeep inside me with no light at the end of the tunnel. I knew I was projecting right now, but damn. How much could one person take? I was tired of fighting these damn battles when I never should’ve had them to begin with.
I found a bag and threw in a few clothes. When I got here, I had nothing. But as the days morphed into weeks and then months, I slowly accumulated possessions. And now I would start fresh somewhere else. I had no clue where I would go this time, but I would find somewhere. Maybe I would meet people as amazing as Annika and her men.
When I peeked out of the room, the coast was clear, and I made a beeline for the front door. “Kadence?” Annika questioned, her voice laced with sleep. “What are you doing?”
“I gotta go. I’m sorry.”
And then I was outside, running down the street.Where the fuck was I going?There was nowhere for me to go. Before I went to the gate of the complex, someone grabbed my arm.
“Kadence,” Annika cried. “Stop. You don’t have to run.” Drew was fast behind her with the other two close behind. “Please, stop running. You don’t have to go through this alone.”
