I pulled out of her and brought my fingers to her lips. “Taste yourself, mistress.” Blaize cleaned my fingers before flipping me onto my back. “Cheater.”
“You are a little tease, Kadence.” She went to pull my top off, but I tensed and she stopped. I didn’t know what happened in the three seconds after she tasted herself on me, but I couldn’t stop my body’s involuntary reaction to her touch.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered, falling back to my knees on the floor and wrapping my arms around my torso. She leaned forward,caressing my face, and I leaned into her touch, looking up at her. “I can’t forgive you this easily. Giving in and having sex with you is going against what I told myself. You really hurt me. My body and my heart are screaming yes, but my head is telling me to run away from you and never look back.”
She winced, but tried to hide it by moving her dark hair out of her face. “I know, and there’s no amount ofI’m sorrysI can say to make it up to you.” Her eyes fell to my covered wrist, her hand grazing her fingers before she touched my neck. The bandage was still there from last night, and the knowledge that someone wanted to kill me—again—was fresh in my mind. “What do you want from me? Whatever you want, princess, I’ll give it to you.”
“I want you to love me,” I croaked out. Blaize stood up, pulling me to my feet as she wrapped her arms around my hips. We were standing face-to-face, her hands resting on my lower back. “I don’t know what love is supposed to feel like, Blaize, but with you I feel complete. And that fucking scares me.”
“I will use every breath in my body to prove myself to you. This is new for me, Kadence. I never expected to fall in love with someone again. That is until you. What do you want from me, princess? Right now?”
“Hold me? It puts a damper on the mood, but I’m not letting you fuck me.” Having her was one thing, but breaking my promise to myself this early when I told myself we needed to talk would affect us in the long run.
“Of course. Whatever you need.”
“We need to talk, but right now, I want this. Vulnerability. We can worry about everything else later.”
CHAPTER 24
KADENCE
Iwoke up to Blaize’s finger trailing on a scar on my thigh. I felt her tracing my scars throughout the night, but now I was awake. “I got that one when I fell on glass.”
“How did you fall on glass?”
I laughed bitterly. “A drunk father who hated me?” Maybe laughing at my trauma wasn’t a good thing anymore. “I was fourteen, and he caught me having sex with a senior from school.”
“Kadence—”
I shrugged. “I thought it would help with the daddy issues by sleeping with older men. It just made me feel like shit. Anyway, my dad was drunk and pissed. The guy left and wanted me to come with him, but I refused. I didn’t love him, I just wanted sex to cope with my life.” I sighed, watching the flashback replay in the back of my mind. “All in all, he threw his bottle and it shattered. We argued, and when he pushed me, I landed in the glass.”
“Did he do anything to help you?”
“Nope. He called me worthless and stumbled to his bedroom.”
“Remind me to kill your father if I ever see him.”
I turned in bed and looked at her face. “I’m not mad. I mean, I am, but I’m not focused on that part of my life anymore. I’m not trying to erase my past, but I am trying to perfect my future.”
“Tu és perfeita, princesa.”
“What does that mean?”
“You’re perfect, princess. It’s Portuguese.”
“Is that where you’re from? Portugal?”
She nodded. “Yes. My mom was born there and came to America where she met my father. We moved back to Portugal for a while, but when I was ten, my parents moved back to the States.”
“Do you miss it?”
She shrugged. “I miss my vó,grandmother,but she died ten years ago.”
There was a comfortable silence between us, but I broke it. “What does this make us, Blaize?”
She sighed, sitting up in her bed, and I felt my heart ache. “Kadence, I’m not a good person. I don’t want to drag you into my shitty existence or bring my demons into your life.”
“I have my own demons, too, Blaize. Adding a couple more won’t hurt.” She opened her mouth to speak, but I stopped her. “I was raped. My father is looking for me, and I’m sure when my ex finds out I’m alive, he and an entire gang will come for my head. I don’t care about what you did in your past, but I want to be in your future. I want to be yours, and I don’t want to be a secret. If you’re going to love me, I want you to love me loudly.”
