“I’m not punching you.”
He laughed, walking down five steps before looking back at me. “There’s a gym I go to when sleep escapes me and I need to quiet my mind. We’re going to spar.”
“Annika?”
“Is sleeping comfortably between Noah and Theo. There’s a note and a message waiting for her if she wakes up in the next three hours.” I shrugged, following him downstairs to his dark blue Jeep. If I was going to spiral, I might as well do it with a punching bag.
There was no one at the small gym, and for that, I was grateful. I didn’t want to socialize or see anyone else when my mind was like this. Drew walked to a worn red punching bag that had been through the ringer. I wondered how much of the bag’stears were from him. He handed me a pair of fingerless gloves, and I eyed him.
“You’ll hurt yourself. Self-mutilation is not how healing works.”
“I think it did pretty good for me in high school.”
He glared at me and I smirked, pulling the leather gloves onto my hands. “Tuck your fist in, and attack the bag. Just let all the anger and frustration out into the bag until you can’t do it anymore.”
He held the bag firmly, and I took a deep breath, clenching my fingers. He wanted me to unleash all my anger without realizing we’d be here for a long time.
I jabbed the bag hard, thinking about Nathan. I was angry at him for leaving me alone.Jab. My mother for leaving.Double jab. My dad for being a neglective asshole. I continued to punch the bag in angry sets, thinking about all the shit that had gone wrong in my life. Dominic and Liam faded together as my punches became more frenzied. Then I faltered when I got to Blaize.
The final punch was weak as the dam exploded and a sob ripped from my lungs. Then I was angry again, hitting the bag again and again with hot rage-filled tears in my eyes. I wasn’t just angry at Blaize, I was pissed off at myself for letting our connection fester like it did. If I would have told her who I was when she asked, this would have been avoided, but I was never great at listening to people. One would think I’d learn after what happened to me in New York.
A guttural scream erupted filled with fury and anguish. I stopped punching the bag and rested my head on the abused leather and sob. Drew left me alone for a second to let everything out. I never realized this was what I needed. It felt like there was a crushing weight lifted from my shoulders and for the first time in months I could breathe again. “Let everything out.”
A few minutes passed and I straightened my back. I still felt lousy, but finally I was crying, screaming and letting my pent-up rage make me feel a hell of a lot better. I was nowhere near ready to face reality, but it helped.
“Now we spar.”
“Why?”
“Hunter and I learned from Blaize. I can teach you how to protect yourself and in the end, it will put you in Blaize’s shoes if something like this happened again.”
I crossed my arms across my chest. “Okay. If it helps me protect myself. I’m tired of everyone using me and my feelings as a punching bag.” I chuckled for the first time in days. “Pun intended.”
“Have you ever done any self-defense?”
“Yeah, but I didn’t take anything seriously. My dad was an asshole, but he made sure I got into karate, and up until my sophomore year, I stayed in it.”
“What color belt did you have?”
“Blue with one tape thingy. I knew about twenty-five percent of the stuff, but that was eight years ago.”
CHAPTER 11
KADENCE
The air was thick with sweat, my body aching in ways I never thought possible. My muscles burned from the constant motion, but at least my mind was only focused on Drew. Although there was still the mimic of people who hurt me—my dad calling me worthless, Dominic using me, Liam on top of me. They were taunting me. I needed to focus on this pain and use it in my favor to protect myself.
“You want to keep going?” His smirk was barely visible. “It looks like you’re taking a break.”
I stared at him, not saying a word as I focused on my breathing. I focused on the sting in my ribs and the ache in my fists. This pain was nothing compared to everything else I’d been through, and goddamn, could Drew hit.
“Pain’s your friend, right?” he asked, circling me like a predator. “You’re going to let it make you stronger? Or is it going to break you, like it always does?”Ouch.“Come on, Kadence.”
I clenched my fists. I’ve been broken more times than I could count. But this time…this time I was using it for me. I was done being a pretty punching bag for everyone else.
“Shut up,” I muttered, my voice slightly hoarse.
Drew laughed, his voice low and mocking. “Make. Me.”
