I shake my head, pushing those thoughts away as I shift into warrior one.
By the time I transition into child’s pose, the sun is beginning to set, painting the sky in brilliant shades of orange and pink.
I like to time my sessions so I end in seated meditation just as the sun touches the horizon. Eyes closed, I take deep breaths, savoring the peace as it washes over me.
After a few minutes, the sound of footsteps coming up from behind breaks my concentration. I know exactly who it is. I can feel his presence, his energy tingling up the back of my neck.
When I open my eyes, Jax is lowering himself to sit beside me. He pulls his knees up to his chest, wrapping his arms around them, and stares out at the water. We sit together in silence, watching as the sun makes its final descent.
“So,” he says finally. “Have you thought about my offer?”
I turn to look at him, studying his profile in the fading light. “Why are you doing this?”
Keeping his gaze on the horizon, he grins. “Just want you to think long and hard about what you’re missing. Pun intended, of course.” He bumps my shoulder with his. “Would friends-with-benefits be so bad? Like I said, it doesn’t have to be anything serious. Just two consenting adults having fun.”
I weigh his words against the warning bells going off in my head. “Okay,” I say finally. “If—and that’s a big if—we’re going to be friends-with-benefits, you’re going to need toopen up. Friends talk. Tell me more about what happened after you injured your knee.”
His expression turns serious. “Okay. I can do that. But when it comes to my past, it’s gonna have to be give and take. You can’t ask me to share those parts of myself without you doing the same.” His voice drops into a lower, more intimate register. “And when we’re done talking? I get to kiss you anywhere I want.”
The thought of kissing Jax again makes my lips tingle in anticipation. Not trusting my voice, I nod.
He turns his attention back to the water, expression thoughtful. “After I blew out my knee, everything changed. One minute I was on track for the draft, and the next, my career was over before it even began.” He pauses, running a nervous hand over the buzzed section of hair on the side of his head. “The doctors prescribed pain meds after the surgery. At first, I took them as directed, but then...”
I watch him as he speaks, my chest tightening when I see a shadow of pain briefly flash across his face.
“After a while, depression got the best of me.” He sighs. “And the only thing that helped me feel better were the pills.”
“For how long?”
Shifting his position, he turns to face me directly. “About a year. Started with the prescription stuff. When those ran out, I found other ways to get what I thought I needed.” His jaw tightens. “Lost everything. My scholarship, my apartment, most of my friends.”
“What was it that made you realize you needed help?” I ask softly.
Jax’s eyes meet mine, vulnerability flickering in their depths. “My dad. He gave me an ultimatum: Get clean or get out,” he shrugs, voice rough. “I was living with him at the time, so the threat hit pretty hard knowing I had nowhere else to go.”
“That must have been difficult for both of you.”
“It was the wake-up call I needed.”
“Claire mentioned you volunteer at a horse ranch that helps people with trauma and addiction.”
His eyes snap to mine in surprise. “She told you about that?”
“She did.” I smile softly. “I think that’s amazing. I love horses. I learned to ride when I was a kid, but after my parents divorced, I never really got back into it. I haven’t ridden in a long time.”
He nods. “Horses are incredibly intuitive animals. They can sense your energy, your emotions. If you’re anxious or aggressive, they’ll know right away.” The smile he gives me is different from his usual cocky grin—softer, more genuine. “When you’re working with an animal that weighs a thousand pounds, you have to be present, calm. It forces you out of your head.”
I’m genuinely impressed. “Sound a lot like what yoga does for me. How did you end up getting involved with the ranch?”
“My rehab counselor suggested it. Said I needed something positive to focus on.” He picks up a small stone and tosses it into the lake, watching the ripples spread. “At first, I thought it was a bunch of bullshit. I mean, come on, horses? But after my first session, I was hooked.”
His expression softens as he continues to talk, showing me a side of him I never expected to see.
“The J & R Ranch is run by a cowboy named Hollis and his wife Meg.” Jax chuckles. “He’s the toughest son of a bitch I’ve ever met, but he’s got a heart of gold. They took me under their wing. Taught me everything I know when it comes to using animals as a way to help others.”
“How often do you volunteer?”
“At least one weekend a month. More when I can manage it.” He looks at me, expression firming. “Some of these kids who come through the program—they remind me so much of myself.Lost, angry, looking for anything to numb the pain.” His voice drops into humble tone. “If I can help even one of them find their way back, it’s worth it.”
