She chuckles. “Everyone has to start somewhere. Just breathe through it and don’t force anything.”
Three days into my new routine, I’m sitting cross-legged on my yoga mat at home when my phone rings. It’s my agent, Amanda.
“Hey! I’ve been trying to reach you for days,” she says, exasperated. “The publisher is getting anxious about the manuscript. Are you almost done?”
Side stepping her question, I cut straight to the chase. “Did you tell Eric where I was?”
Her silence says it all.
“Noia, I?—”
I barely manage to keep my voice calm. “You did, didn’t you?”
“He was worried about you,” she defends. “And the publisher needed updates.”
“I trusted you.” I take a deep breath and center myself. “You’re fired.”
“What? You can’t be serious?—”
“I’ll be looking for new representation, and possibly a new publisher.”
“Noia, please don’t do this.” Amanda’s voice is high-pitched with panic. “You need me. You can’t just walk away from your contract.”
“Watch me.”
A strange sense of freedom sings in my veins after I hang up and toss my phone onto the couch. I lie back on my yoga mat, staring up at the ceiling. The decision I just made should terrify me, but instead, I feel strangely liberated.
No more deadlines from publishers who only care about the bottom line. No more agents betraying my trust. No more writing what’s expected of me.
Wait.
I pop up, struck by an idea so clear and perfect it almost takes my breath away.
“That’s it!” I scramble to my feet, startling Goonie from his nap on the windowsill. “I’m going to start over.”
I race into my bedroom and fire up my laptop. For the first time in months, new words pour out of me effortlessly as I plot an outline for a new series—a quartet of novels following four women who discover they have extraordinary abilities.
“No more perfect heroes with their perfect abs saving the day,” I say aloud to myself as I begin to type. “I’m going to write about strong, complex, flawed women who save themselves—and maybe the world while they’re at it.”
My fingers fly across the keyboard. Kira is a former military pilot who discovers she can manipulate electromagnetic fields after surviving a plane crash caused by a lightning strike. She’s fierce, flawed, and determined to use her new powers to protect those who can’t protect themselves.
Three hours later when I finally come up for air, I’m shocked to find I’ve outlined three books and written the first chapter. My body might be stiff from sitting for so long, but my mind is alive with possibilities.
“Holy shit,” I whisper, scrolling through what I’ve written. “This is really good.”
I grab my phone and pull up the contact information forJasmine Torres, an independent publisher I met at a conference last year who specializes in fantasy and sci-fi with strong female protagonists.
Before I can second-guess myself, I hit call.
“Jasmine Torres.”
“Hi, Jasmine. This is Noia Wilde. We met at the Salt Lake Book Festival last year? I was wondering if you might have time to discuss a potential new project.”
Forty-five minutes later, I’ve scheduled a Zoom meeting for tomorrow morning to pitch my new series.
I dance around the kitchen, feeling lighter than I have in months. For the first time in a long time, I feel completely in control of my life.
Jasmine’s enthusiasmduring our meeting the next morning takes me by surprise.
