Rowan leans against the counter, studying me with those intense hazel eyes. Eyes that have always, somehow, been able to see into my soul. “I want to explain why I left the way I did.”
I snort. “This should be good.”
“I’m serious.” He runs a hand through his hair, leaving it slightly tousled in an annoyingly sexy way. “When I left for Ireland after my parents died, I was a mess. I was angry at the world. At everyone and everything. At the time, I couldn’t even think about you without feeling like I was drowning.”
Despite all the therapy that helped me to understand why he probably did what he did, I still need this last bit of closure… from him.
“So you just... what? Decided not to say goodbye? Just, cut me off completely?” Old hurt bubbles to the surface as I grip the beer bottle tighter.
“I was twelve, Lizzy. I didn’t know how to handle any of it. My whole world had just imploded. And you...” His voice cracks. “…you were the one good thing. The one person who was always there for me. But every time I thought about you, I was reminded of everything I’d lost. Everything that had changed.”
Fighting an unwelcome surge of empathy, I bite my lip. “Doesn’t explain why you never wanted to talk to me. Only Logan.”
“I wrote you letters,” he deflects quietly. “Dozens of them. My therapist recommended it. But I could never bring myself to send them.”
“Why not?”
“Because I was ashamed. Of how broken I was. Of how much I missed you. I couldn’t make sense of what I was feeling.” He takes another sip from the bottle, a look of sad contemplation on his face. “And then more time passed, and it got harder and harder to reach out. I’d hoped you’d moved on. Forgotten about me.”
My laugh is bitter. “Forgotten about you? Are you serious? You were my best friend, Rowan. My first…everything. I spent years thinking I’d done something wrong.”
Pain flashes across his face. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“Yeah, and after years of therapy, I came to understand that. For the most part, anyway. But what about after graduation?” I throw at him.
His eyes darken. “It was... complicated.”
“No. Complicated is trying to decide what to wear on a first date.” I lean my forearms on the marble countertop, heart picking up speed when I see Rowan’s gaze flick down to my chest.
Suddenly, I come to the realization that I’m not wearing a bra or a top of any kind. From the moment Rowan scared the shit out of me, I’ve been oblivious to everything but him. Including the fact that I’m half naked behind my apron.
A muscle in his jaw twitches as he swallows hard. “What happened after graduation wasn’t just complicated,” he says, voice rough. “It was the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make.”
Unable to keep the hurt from my voice, I barely manage to keep it from trembling. “You didn’t say goodbye.”
Setting his bottle aside, he drags both hands down his face. “That’s just it, Sunshine. I couldn’t. Because if I did, I don’t think I would’ve been able to leave.”
My heart stutters, leaving me at a loss for words.
“I was terrified, Iz.” Raw with emotion, his eyes meet mine. “I’d loved you since we were eight years old. There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t regret how I left things between us. How I left without a word. Those weeks with you were everything I’d ever wanted. But as much as it hurt, I had a one-way ticket to L.A. and a dream I’d been chasing since I was a kid. I was torn between staying with you and going after what I’d worked so hard for.”
He starts to pace. “If I’d stayed, I would’ve ended up resenting you. Even then I loved you too much to let that happen.”
I stand frozen in place, processing his words as he continues.
“That last night, when we were together, I couldn’t sleep. I just kept looking at you sleeping peacefully beside me, knowing that if I was still there when you woke up, I’d never get on that plane.” He looks down at his hands. “I was a coward. I convinced myself a clean break would be easier for both of us.”
“Easier?” I repeat incredulously. “Do you have any idea what that did to me? Waking up alone, only to find out, from mymotherno less, that you’d already left?”
“I know,” he says quietly. “And I’ve regretted it every day since. I thought about calling so many times. Then my career took off, and I just...” he trails off, shaking his head.
“Just what? Forgot about me?” The words come out sharper than I mean them to.
“Fuck, no.Never.” He walks around the island, and I have to fight the urge to back away when he comes to stand infront of me. “I tried to move on. But I couldn’t. Why do you think I’m making this movie?”
My breath catches. “What do you mean? What does the movie have to do with us?”
“It’s called The Treehouse. It’s about my life. My friendship with you and Logan. Everything that happened between us. It’s all there.”
