I look back at her and cup her face in my hands. “I’m not promising anything.”
“I know.”
“But this…” and I glance at the paddocks, “is exciting. Your enthusiasm is infectious. And the way you want to feed the world… Part of me thinks it’s idealistic and naïve, but it’s also wonderful. I love that about you.”
She swallows hard, looking up into my eyes.
“You’re so beautiful,” I say softly, bending to place a soft kiss on her lips.
“I look a mess,” she scoffs. “I haven’t showered or washed my hair, and I’m not wearing any makeup.”
“You look like a sun goddess.” I slide a strand of her hair through my fingers. “It’s amazing how it takes on the color of the world around it. It was a coral color, and now it’s gold.” She looks bemused, so I kiss her again and say, “If you were mine, I’d give you compliments every day until you started to believe them.”
“Are you trying to make me cry?”
“No.” I kiss her nose, her cheeks, and her mouth again. “I just want you to know what an exceptional woman you are.”
Her eyes glisten, and so I pull her into my arms and kiss her properly.
Something’s happening to me, gradually, slowly, like the sun coming up. The thought of going back to Auckland and not seeing her again feels unbearable.
I only meant this to be a fling, but I didn’t take into account that I’d enjoy being with her so much. I feel as if I’ve stepped into quicksand, and I’m sinking deeper with every second I spend with her. I’m already up to my boots, and soon I’m going to be up to my neck, and then I’ll be in over my head, and I don’t know what I’m going to do.
Chapter Fifteen
Maddie
As we continue around the paddocks, Caesar holds my hand, our fingers interlinked. I feel a little dizzy. Something happened back there, I don’t know what, but my heart is racing, and for the first time I feel a glimmer of hope that there might be a future for us. Maybe there’s a way we can work together without Ashford being engulfed… Could that be true?
I rein in my enthusiasm, though. There are so many factors involved, professionally and personally. I’m not going to get carried away with fantasies of me in a white wedding dress, and Caesar proudly holding his child in his arms. Something tells me a future like that doesn’t lie on my horizon. He’s excited about his idea regarding the business, whatever it is, and he’s enjoying my company, but that doesn’t mean it’ll all work out.
He still doesn’t know about Little Raspberry. And I’m not going to tell him, not until I can be sure his reaction will be positive.
Carpe diem, Maddie, I tell myself, and I lift my face to the morning sun as he starts talking about his childhood on the Ashford family farm in Cambridge. When he talks like this, about his family and his past, his cynicism and moodiness take a backseat. His face lights up, and he laughs a lot. I ask him questions about Marcus and Aurelia and his parents, and he opens up a little, telling me a few stories about when they were young.
I’ve been lucky so far and haven’t felt sick yet this morning, but a little wave of nausea hits me, and I take a deep breath and blow it out slowly. He notices and says, “I forgot… how’s the headache.”
“Hovering.” I don’t like lying to him, but it’s the best excuse I can think of to cover my morning sickness. “I’m okay. Oral sex counters it beautifully.”
I smile and stop to check a solar panel, willing the nausea to go.
“Did you have a happy childhood?” he asks.
I think about it as I reset the sensor and double check the reading on the app on my phone. Then I slide my phone back into my pocket, and we continue on. “Mostly,” I admit. “Brielle and I have always got on well. She enjoyed her older sister role, and she’s always looked after me. Sometimes it’s a bit…” I struggle to find the right word.
“Stifling?” he suggests.
I nod slowly. “Yeah. I feel bad saying that, because she’s always been good to me.”
“No, I get it. I’ve watched some of her videos. She has a lot of confidence. She’s very likeable, and I’m sure she does a great job promoting the Rutherford Group. But I can imagine how she’d overshadow everyone around her.”
“Yes, that’s exactly it. I’ve always been in her shadow. I don’t blame her for that. She’s naturally effervescent. But it’s hard to shine when you’re so close to the sun.” I glance at him. “You like her?”
He looks back at me and then stops walking again. He pushes me up against the fence, moves up close to me, and nuzzles my neck. “Are you jealous, Cupcake?”
“No…” I shiver with delight.
He kisses up to my ear. “Really?”
