Rosie smirked and patted his hand. “I love you.”
“Love you, too, baby girl.”
“I hate to break up this love fest, but we’ve got more problems than a tentacle god from hell. That’s not lava pouring out of the volcano,” I said, pointing to the flow of what had appeared to be magma. Unfortunately for all of us, it wasn’t a deadly representation of Earth’s molten core. No, that would have been lucky. This was an unending army of demons hitching a ride on hellfire.
“Fuck,” Kai whispered under his breath.
“Okay, so we need to send Grabby Hands back to hell, and also deal with an entire army. Cool cool cool. Easy.”
“Grabby Hands?” I asked.
“I don’t know, dude. I was spitballing.”
“But . . . why?”
“Because, Asher, naming things makes them less scary. Would you rather I went with the obvious and predictable Octopus Face?”
I didn’t answer, and he kept going.
“And then he has his little octopi? Octopuses?”
Chaos cleared his throat. “If you’re trying to be technically accurate, the Greek plural is octopodes.”
Remi lit up like it was the Fourth of July, and I knew before he opened his mouth what was coming next. “We’re about to be ok-top-uh-deez nuts, bitches!”
Kingston chortled and high-fived Remi. “It was low-hanging fruit. But if you hadn’t said it, I would’ve.”
“I mean, it would have been a crime not to.”
“Agree to disagree,” Kai said, before returning his attention to me. “I think we should put me in front of the formation since I’m fireproof.”
“That’s a call for Nord. He’s our general,” I replied.
Chaos let out a snort of complete disgust.
“Dude, we’ve been over this. He got the job before you joined the team.”
His eyes flashed with rage a moment before a shock wave erupted from underneath him, causing everyone in his vicinity to stumble, except for the nearest demons. They were reduced to ash.
“Oooo-kay. Someone is feeling his feelings. It’s good not to keep it bottled up.” Remi patted him gingerly on the shoulder. “Good horseman. Very strong.”
I not so subtly grasped him around the wrist and pulled him behind me. If he wasn’t careful, it wouldn’t be Cthulhu or the demons he’d have to worry about. Chaos would take care of him for them.
“What was that for?” he groused.
“You’re cruisin’.”
“Am not.”
“You seriously are, Remi. Trust me. It’s not going to end well. Let’s not test your luck today. All right?”
“Motherforking shirtballs,” Rosie said, her voice barely a whisper.
I followed her gaze into the palm trees to the west of the lava flow. Demons, as far as the eye could see, were rushing toward us, coming from the hills.
“Is that a fucking whale?” Caspian asked, pulling my attention toward the open water.
“Oh, that’s definitely not a whale.” My stomach clenched as the black shape grew closer and we all realized exactly what it was.
