After a scrape of his teeth against my neck which leaves me gasping, his lips find my ear.
“If you don’t stop moaning like that, I’m going to have to fuck you on this dance floor.” And that’s how we end up leaving the club without saying goodbye to any of our friends.
The next morning, I’m wrapped in Leks's arms when my phone rings way too early.
“Mama? Is something wrong?”
My voice is husky from yelling along to music last night.
“You sound upset,malyshka. Is that beast being awful to you?”
If only she knew. I pull my cell phone away from my ear to look at the time. I’ve only been asleep for three hours.
“It’s six a.m., Mama. You woke me up,” I lower my voice, and shrug Leks's arm away from me.
She tuts her tongue. “You used to get up at this time, Natalia.”
“Only because you would always wake me up.” I roll my eyes, slipping out of the bedroom so I don’t wake up Leks.
There’s a mist coming in from the sea this morning and the lights of the port are foggy.
“Maybe you’re growing lazy without your paintings to look at.” There’s something smug in her voice, as if she’s won some kind of battle.
I’m far too exhausted to work out what she’s trying to imply. When I first married Leks, these phone calls felt like my lifeline, my only taste of normality. Now I can’t escape the feeling that the only reason my mother is calling is to judge my life — a life that my father’s lies have pushed me into.
“It’s just early…”
“Living with that monster is not healthy, Natalia. You know your father and I are trying to get you out of there as soon as possible?—”
“No.” The refusal jumps out of my mouth before I can stop it. It used to feel normal, when she would call Leks a monster. That was the natural way to think of the man who had killed my brothers. Now I can’t hear her talk about him like that without wanting to argue.
“No? What do you mean, “no”? Natalia, this has beenour plan from the start. This marriage was only ever a temporary arrangement while your father finds a way around this plan. That’s why it’s so important that you stay pure.”
I suck in a breath and steel myself to tell her the truth.
“Mama, Leks and I are together.”
Her shriek is deafening.
There’s a thudding sound, as she hits my father with one of her magazines.
“Maksim Bryusov!”Thwack. “I told you this would happen if you didn’t get her out sooner.”Thwack. “Now our daughter will never make a respectable marriage.”Thwack. “And it’s all your fault!”
“Mama, it’s okay. I am happy here.”
“Now she says she is happy with him!”Thwack.
There is no reasoning with my mother when she gets like this.
I grit my teeth. I don’t want to talk to my father, not when he’s the reason I’ve betrayed my husband’s trust, but I should.
“Can you pass the phone to my father?”
There’s a shuffling sound.
“Malyshka, I’m sorry things have gotten to this point. Nonetheless, we are disappointed in your behavior.”
This tone of voice is familiar. Father has a soft, reasonable tone he uses when he is disappointed.
