Fuck, I’m finally home and now, I need to go and confront a ghost.
***
An hour later, I sigh as I look at the headstone before me, and my heart shatters.
Angela ‘Angie’ Martinez
Beloved Daughter and Sister,
Taken too soon, but never forgotten.
“Eight years, eight fucking years, and not once have I been here, not once have I come to speak to you, and for that, I am so sorry, baby sister. I’m so goddamn sorry,” I choke as I drop my head in shame, hating myself.
After Drew spent some time with Willow, teaching her how to do ballet, something she has begged her momma to let her take part in as soon as the studio that we will see tomorrow is opened. Of course her momma agreed without hesitation like always where her daughter is involved. I explained that I couldn’t celebrate my return or my wedding reception and several complained, while Mom looked ready to smack me until I mentioned that I needed to see my little sister.
Mom offered to come with me, but again, all I wanted was my wife, who is sitting beside me, leaning against me, allowing me to get my grief out.
I needed my rock and mom thankfully understood.
“I was ashamed,” I whisper, “I blamed myself for bringing that woman into your life, I hated that I couldn’t save you and I’mso sorry Angie. I’m sorry for not being the protector that you deserved,” I sniff hard, “I was also mad at you and I think that is why I went off the rails, I had the guilt but I also had the anger at you,” I admit, “You never should have confronted her, you should have come to me because you know I would have always believed you over her.”
I swallow hard and turn my head, kissing my girl’s, and I confess, “I got married, I fell in love, knocked her up, and married the woman of my dreams. I’m finally happy, finally moving on with my life, I just wish you were here to see it. I wish you could have met my wife, that you could meet my daughter who will share your name…”
I swallow the lump forming as tears sting my eyes, and I promise, “I won’t let you sleep alone anymore, Angie. I’ll come see you, I’ll sit with you, I’ll talk with you, I’ll be the big brother I should have been these past eight years, instead of making stupid decision after stupid decision. I love you…”
I kiss Drew's head again before turning and leaning my back against Angie’s headstone, and Drew smiles at me, her eyes teary.
“Let me tell you a bedtime story, little sister. Its of broken biker riding through a town, intending to leave the next day, only to end up staying because he met a ballerina…”
My wife grins widely before she crawls over to me, then sits between my legs, her back leaning against my front, and listens as I tell our love story to my sister. She listens to how much of a pedestal I hold her on because Drew, she saved me, and she continues to save me every single day.
Epilogue
Cage – A Year Later
I sigh as I bang the gavel and state, “Alright, fuckers, church in progress, stop squabbling...”
“Is that how you speak to your officer's son?” Dad questions at the back of the room, and I raise a brow and remind him, “Obviously, now shush, I want to get home.”
“Angela still demanding all of Drew's time?” Crush asks with a grin, and I give him the middle finger.
I love my daughter, I really fucking do, she’s the apple of my eye, acts exactly like Angie used to, giving me the memory of her back, helping me heal from the past, but she’s weaning from breastfeeding. She’s become extremely clingy to Drew, meaning I’ve barely had any alone time with my wife, and I need time alone with my wife.
“I need someone to take her tonight, please, for the love of God, I need more time with my wife before our son arrives!” I growl, and the brothers chuckle.
“I’ll take her, son,” Dad chuckles, and I sigh in relief causing the brothers to laugh, brothers who not once held it against me for leaving for nearly a year, who still help me grow as a person. They help keep me on the straight and narrow and by help, I mean contacting my wife if I’m pissed, the same wife who comes to Angie’s grave with me three times a week, sometimes bringing Angela.
“Thank you,” I say with a relieved sigh and Dad nods with sincerity and a little concern knowing the stress my girl is under right now.
Two months ago, Drew asked her mom to watch our girl while we had an OB appointment. That took a lot for her to do, considering they’ve been tense. When she called to see where they were so we could take her to the park, we got the surprise of our life when she guiltily admitted that she’d taken Angela to Rose Hill Psychiatric Hospital. The same place Elizabeth ended up five months ago after she tried to kidnap my daughter.
Dad had to hold me back from shooting the bitch when Trick caught her trying to take her out of the club gates after Mary brought her for family day without any of us being aware. Meanwhile, Joel did hold a gun to his daughter’s head.
They argued for days but he gave her a choice, admit her, or he kills her, not giving a shit that she’s his daughter. Mary relented, but ever since Mary took Angela to see Elizabeth, a woman who tried to kidnap our daughter, Drew refuses for her to watch our daughter and she’s barely said two words to her.
Mary knows she did wrong, Elizabeth still had some hold over her and made her feel guilty, but it isn’t the point. She knew she’d lose her other daughter for what she did, and her daughter’s trust, and she’s out of chances with my girl now.
She’ll get to see Angela on family days or days when Joel will take her, so Drew can dance for an hour, but that is about it, she’s never alone with her, and she never holds her.
