I run my fingers through my hair before putting it in a knot, showing off the short back and sides.
I know what my problem is, I just don’t want to fucking deal with it right now. I don’t want to add more guilt onto my conscience that I already hold.
Fuck, I don’t want to put my girl in a position where she has to choose between me, her family, and her career. As much as she says where I go she goes, she’ll resent me if I take her away from here. I just know it. Then there is the fact that my guilt still fucking consumes me even if I am slowly learning what happened wasn’t really my fault. Toya would have snapped at some point with any brother that had fucked her to get what she wanted. Her sights were just more on me because I was going to be Pres, but any brother would have done it for her.
I squeeze my eyes tight. I want to go home. I know I do. It’s why my mood has declined this week. I miss my brothers, I miss my family. Them being here, giving me that sense of home that I get with my girl is so fucking hard. Me not being able to confront my sister’s ghost, not being able to visit her grave… That is what is really stopping me. I feel like the world’s biggest fuck up when I think about it too long.
I have a baby on the way, a woman who calls me hers, I can’t let her down. I know if I go home, I will, and then I’ll lose her, and that I won’t fucking survive. She consumes me, centers me.
She’s my fucking everything.
“Okay, my little munchkins,” Drew says, I smile as I look up and watch her kneel before the kids, giving them her full attention, her passion for teaching shining through. “You all did so well today,” she says softly, making the little ones beam, “Nextclass we’ll be trying our balance, and Isabella and Myra, by the door are your brand new leotards.”
They all nod while the two girls, I’m guessing are Isabella and Myra, rush over to the door to grab the two light pink bags I brought down for my girl.
I’ve been here for two of her classes after one of my clients didn’t show up. Or rather, who Ithoughtwas a no-show, but thanks to that damn receptionist, I lost out on money.
Bitch turned my client away because apparently, she looked too hot and thought she already had enough competition with my girl.
I swear the women in this town are just crazy and don’t give a shit when a man is taken.
I watch as the kids wave goodbye, some sulking as they stare at the two girls in new clothes. The moms chat, eyeing me, and I roll my eyes before looking at my girl to find her eyes already on me.
She tilts her head, and I half smile before my eyes go down to her stomach, and I swallow hard.
She’s fourteen weeks and already showing, fuck me. I am still petrified that I’m going to fuck this whole thing up.
“Bell,” Drew says softly, and I take my eyes off her small bump and lock with her deep blues that I can get lost in. “Can you help me tidy up?” she asks, and I hum and stand as if on autopilot and walk over to the storage closet to grab the vacuum ignoring the moms vying for my attention, all while my mind fucking spins.
***
“You’ve been quiet recently,” Drew whispers, I hum, not denying her words as I gently rub the sponge over her little bump. The shower head is spraying over both of us while she leans her backslightly against me, making my cock rock-hard as it is squished between us wanting her tight heat.
This is something I’ve made a habit of doing, showering with my girl every night. I lavish her with my hands, mouth and body, attempting to make up for giving her space.
“Have I?” I ask nonchalantly, silently hoping she steers the conversation, but not my girl. Now its her turn to hum in response, “I haven’t wanted to say anything, I’ve wanted to let you come to the conclusion to speak to me, but I’ve slowly been watching you shut down your emotions.”
“Little bird,” I whisper as I place my lips against her shoulder.
“You’re worried I’m going to resent you if you decide you want to leave,” she says without remorse. I sigh deeply as I drop the sponge, then turn her in my arms, and without missing a beat, I bend slightly, grab the back of her thighs, then lift her. I do it as gently as possible painfully aware of her bump between us.
Drew wraps her legs around my waist and her arms around my neck. I push her up against the shower wall, and thrust my hard cock into her tight heat, without hesitation. Her walls instantly suck me in while she moans, “This isn’t going to distract me from this conversation, Bellamy…”
I chuckle, and I kiss her lips lightly, not surprised she caught on.
“I love you,” I murmur as I gently caress her lips, and her face softens.
“I love you too, Bellamy, and I meant what I said, where you go, I go, I won’t resent you,” she says vehemently.
“Even if I decide to ride around the country?” I try, and she smiles widely.
“Even then, because even though I love my family, well, my parents, I love you more. I won’t mind following you in my truck while our baby gets to see the world, just like I wouldn’t mind living three hours away from here,” she replies, and I swallowhard as I place my forehead against hers, enjoying the way her naked body presses against mine while water sprays over us.
“Bellamy,” she whispers, and we lock eyes as she asks, “What do you want?” I swallow hard, not knowing how to answer that question, so she says softly and full of love, “Take away the pain, the hurt and bad feelings, take away the guilt, if you could be anywhere in this world where I am solely by your side, where would it be?”
So many fucking emotions run through me that I’m struggling to breathe and I choke, “Hill Crest,” not able to lie to my girl, not able to hide anything from her. Instead of pushing it, instead of demanding we speak about my confession, she nods then leans forward and gently rubs her lips against mine before whispering, “Make love to me, Bellamy,” and I fucking melt into her. I slam my lips against hers, taking what she’s giving me.
She opens for me instantly, and I shove my tongue into her mouth, tangling it with hers and I moan as her taste hits me, and without thinking too much. I move my hips back, only leaving the tip inside her warm, wet, heat, then bending a little at the knees, I thrust forward, ensuring I hit that magical spot deep inside. My girl moans into my mouth before meeting me thrust for thrust.
