Slowly, carefully, I lift her off me and readjust her clothes. She's boneless and pliant, and I pull her against my side. She curls into me, her head on my shoulder.
"The meeting with your father," I say quietly after a moment. "It can't happen."
She goes still against me. "What?"
"You saw what just happened. That was coordinated. They knew exactly where you were, exactly when to hit." I strokeher hair, trying to gentle the blow. "Bringing him to another location, giving him another chance to set up an ambush—it's too dangerous. I won't risk you like that."
"Andrei—"
"No." I make my voice firm. "This isn't negotiable, Liesl. I almost lost you tonight. I'm not giving him another opportunity."
She pulls back to look at me, and I see the glint of tears in her eyes. "Please. Please don't do this. We need to try. We need to find a way to end this that doesn't involve more death, more violence, more?—"
"There is no other way." I cup her face in my hands, forcing her to hold my gaze. "This is war. People die in war. That's the reality of the world we're in."
"But it doesn't have to be." Her voice breaks. "If you would just trust me, if you would just let me try to talk to him?—"
"I can't." The words come out harsher than I intend. "I can't risk you. Don't you understand that? You're—" I stop, the words catching in my throat.
You're the only thing that matters. You're the only good thing in my life and I can't lose you.
I can't say any of it. But she must see something in my face because her expression softens.
"If you can't work with me on this," she says quietly, "if you can't trust me enough to let me try, then we can't work at all. I can't be with someone who won't let me be a partner. Who won't let me have any say in my own life."
The ultimatum hits me like a physical blow. She's serious. I can see it in her eyes, hear it in her voice. She'll walk away. She'll choose her principles over me, over us, over everything we've built together.
And I'll lose her.
The thought is unbearable, worse than any threat Alexander Baumann could pose, worse than any attack, worse than anything I've faced in my entire life. I've survived bullets and betrayal. I've survived things that would have broken lesser men. But I don't think I could survive losing her.
"Andrei." She touches my face, her fingers gentle against my jaw. "Please. Trust me. Let me try."
I close my eyes, feeling the weight of the decision pressing down on me. Every instinct I have is screaming at me to refuse, to keep her locked away where she's safe, where I can protect her from her father and his allies and everyone else who wants to use her against me. But she's right. If I do that, I lose her anyway. And I can't let that happen.
I open my eyes and look at her, at the hope in her expression, the determination, the absolute certainty that she can make this work if I'll just give her the chance. She believes in peace, in negotiation. In the possibility of something better than this.
I don't believe in any of those things. But I believe in her.
"Okay," I hear myself say. "We'll try."
Her face lights up like I've given her the world. "Really? You mean it?"
"I mean it." I pull her close again, burying my face in her hair. "Just him, no guards, no weapons. You'll have your chance to talk to him."
"Thank you. Thank you, Andrei. I promise I won't let you down. I promise?—"
"I know." I tighten my arms around her, holding her like she's the only thing keeping me anchored to earth. "I know,ptitsa."
I don't tell her that I'm terrified this will end in blood anyway, that her faith in human nature is going to get her hurt, or that I'm probably making the biggest mistake of my life. Instead, I just hold her as Viktor drives us through the darkness towardwhatever comes next. Toward the moment when I'll have to trust that love—because that's what this is, even if I can't say the word—is stronger than violence.
I don't believe it. But for her, I'll try.
And if it all goes wrong, if Alexander Baumann betrays us, if this hope she's clinging to turns out to be nothing but a beautiful lie?—
Then I'll do what I've always done.
I'll be the monster, so she can be safe.
