The lawyer handed Mom hers, and she held it against her chest with both hands.
He handed Cade his, and Cade slid it into the inside pocket of his jacket without opening it. He didn't look at it.
The lawyer handed memine.
I held it.
The envelope was warm from the lawyer's hand.
I looked at my name, put the envelope in the inside pocket of my jacket. I needed some courage to read it without breaking down.
The lawyer asked if there were any questions. There weren't. He thanked us, stood, and gathered his folder, pen, and briefcase. Then he left.
The three of us stayed at the table.
"I'm going to read mine when I'm alone," Mom said.
"Same," Cade said.
"Yeah. Same." I nodded.
Mom reached across the table. She took my hand and Cade's. She held both and said nothing.
For the better part of two weeks, I told myself I had a mother, brother, Theo, and Suzanne. I had the people who showed up, and having them was as close to not being alone as I could get.
Suzanne came in from the kitchen with three fresh cups of coffee. She set one in front of Mom, Cade, and me. She squeezed Cade's shoulder and went back to the kitchen.
Cade picked up his coffee and looked at me across the table. "Porch."
I followed him out.
The porch was cold.
Cade leaned on the rail. He had his hands wrapped around the mug. "How are you doing?"
I held it in. "I'm not fine. I don't know if I'll ever be."
He nodded. "Good."
I looked at him. "Good?"
"That's the right answer, Beau. I've been waiting to hear you say something that was actually true since the funeral."
He took a sip of his coffee and kept his eyes on the yard.
We stood with the coffee.
Until that minute, I hadn't planned to tell him, but I did. "I think I might be in love."
He turned the whole way and looked at me. "What?"
"You heard me."
He seemed surprised. No"With who?"
"You remember the bartender."
He stared at me for a beat. "The bartender at the auction?"
