He looked up. Didn't soften it and gave it to me straight.
"His name is Simon Kessler. He is a father. His son Dylan is on the waitlist for the foundation's cardiac program. He's been calling for over a year." He took a breath. "I haven't taken the call, until just now."
Simon Kessler and I were in the same boat.
Mine was probably worse. We might be sinking already.
Bonnie tugged at my hand. "Mom, I'm hungry."
"Okay, baby."
I gave Beau a look that was halfI'll talk to you laterand halfI can't promise that.Then shouldered Bonnie's backpack onto my own shoulder.
Beau followed us to the elevator. The doors took their time arriving. The wait was, for me, an exercise.
He didn't break the silence until the doors opened.
He held the door with one hand. The folder was still in the other.
"Sabrina."
I waited.
"I know what kind of day you're having. I'm asking anyway. Let me see you. Bring her" — he tipped his chin at Bonnie — "and we'll make a day of it in the park, museum, or aquarium. Whatever she wants. I won't put you in a position where you have to pick between her and me."
I had my mouth open to say no.
Bonnie said quietly, "They have an octopus at the aquarium."
I looked down at her. She was looking up at me with the eyes she used when she wanted something and was being gentle about wanting it.
"I'd really like to see the octopus, Mom."
I looked at Bonnie. I looked at Beau.
I had nowhere left to stand, and what I'd said about my walls being back up had been said over the head of a kid who was, as always, the wrecking ball at the bottom of any wall I built.
The elevator dinged.
I looked at Beau.
"Okay. We'll come," I quietly said.
Bonnie's hand let go of mine and went straight to the elevator button, and Beau held the door open until we were inside, and the last thing I saw before the door closed was him standing in the corridor with a folder in his hand and a face I wasn't going to be able to forget.
9.Beau
The phone rang. It was Mom.
I knew before I picked it up. Mom didn't call when she didn't have to.
"Mom."
"Beau." She was crying.
I sat down on the edge of the bed. "Mom, what’s wrong?"
"He's not speaking, Beau."
