She was the one who did most of the talking. Her brother was right. He made no attempt to talk about any future together. Rubbing her hands over her wet cheeks, she rose and felt her knees shaking.
Should she force the issue? She wondered as she went back into the kitchen. Should she ask him what his plans were, and if she did, would it end up driving him away? Wasn't half or a quarter of him better than nothing? Reaching for the pan, she poured the sauce out and automatically started coating the pastry.
But was she satisfied with just that much? No, she finally acknowledged to herself. She wanted all of him, not just pieces, or the parts he was willing to give. Setting the pan down, she sat on the stool and stared at her creation. Very soon it was Thanksgiving Day, the long holiday weekend. She had some orders to get out, but she was secretly wondering if he was going to be spending the time with her.
Her brother had asked her of her plans, and she had made some noncommittal answer. It was the first major holiday since she returned, and she would have loved to spend it with him. But even more, she wished fervently that she could spend it with Vincent and David.
She loved the father, and had loved him for too many years to count. And she loved the son as well. There was something else, something very profound and troubling at the same time. Rising, she went to put the kettle on. She was late. She had always been like clockwork, never late, always on time. It was a few days after her due date that she happened to check her calendar and realized that she was late.
Rubbing her hand over her stomach, she eased out a breath. This was no ideal situation to introduce another life. Not the way things were between them.
Chapter 11
She could not shake the heaviness inside her, no matter how much she tried to tell herself that she was imagining things. That she was letting her brother's dire words take hold of her. She finished up the pastries and boxed them up neatly. She had finally given her business a name. Thea's Delight was now an officially registered business. She had ordered boxes, business cards and even some cute little bags with the logo, a heart-shaped cookie with sprinkles dripping.
Mrs. Bennett had now input everything into the computer. The woman was a whiz at organizing and had orders, deliveries and accounts labeled. The woman was a gem. Althea had insisted on giving her Wednesday off and firmly told her that she should not come back until Monday.
"You deserve the break. You've been wonderful."
The woman had been delightfully surprised when she was given her full two weeks' pay along with a bonus. Althea realized she could not have done it without her.
She was boxing up the last of the pastries when she heard the crunch of tires on the loose stones of the driveway. Telling herself to take it easy, she continued putting away the things she had used and tidied the kitchen. She had made chicken and dumplings and had a bottle of wine cooling in the bucket.
A salad was in the fridge to go along with the meal.
Taking a deep breath, when she heard the door open and close, she took off her apron and sat around the counter to wait for him to appear.
Her stomach muscles clenched when he came and stood just inside the doorway. He still had his outer coat on, and he did not greet her like he normally did. On top of that, his face was grim and unsmiling. Ignoring the fear beating a wide path inside her chest, she forced a smile and pretended everything was fine.
"Hi. I made supper, chicken and dumplings. There's also wine in the bucket and a salad in the fridge."
"We need to talk." His abrupt tone had her wincing.
"How about a glass of wine?" she suggested brightly.
He stood where he was, his heart beating painfully as he stared at her. Depending on what she had to say to his question, this might be the end of the road for them. And he felt as if he was breaking apart.
"No. Can we go into the living room?"
"No." She shook her head and unclenched her fists. "We can talk right here."
With a curt nod, he came inside and sat across from her. "You were invited to Thanksgiving dinner on Thursday."
Her brows lifted. "Yes. I would have preferred the invitation came from you, but it doesn't matter."
"I won't be there."
She schooled her features with great difficulty. "Is it because of me?"
"It's because of me. Yesterday was Lizzie's birthday." His choice of topic threw her again and had her blinking.
"I see."
"I didn't remember until I was on my way home and I heard one of her favorite songs on the radio. I had forgotten about her birthday. Each day I spend with you is erasing her from my mind. I can barely recall what she looks like. I would usually take David to her grave side and bring flowers. For the first time sinceshe-" He swallowed the lump that had lodged in his throat. "For the first time since she, since she died, I forgot."
"And you blame me," Thea said dully.
"I blame me." He stared at her and wished with all his heart that she didn't look so damn appealing. So damn irresistible. And that he wasn't longing to take her in his arms and kiss her until they were both lost. "Are you on anything?"
