My eyes instinctively drop to the place where his neck meets his shoulders, searching for the glands that in omegas draw alphas like honey draws bees, but instead I see a flat, pale surface. There’s no surgical scar, of course, Blue is a specialist in tissue regeneration, but the area is clearly slightly sunken instead of having the subtle fullness typical for healthy alphas and omegas. The awareness that he lives without them, stripped of what defines AO nature, of our animal side, or as some prefer to call it, that alien side, hits me hard.
I hold my breath, my eyes fixed on that mangled spot at the edge of his neck, and Blue sees it. I hear his heart racing violently.
And then I make another horrible mistake.
I don’t activate my five-second ability. Instead, pulled in like by a magnet, I reach toward that spot, wanting to touch it, to soothe it… I’m inches away from his shoulder when—
Blue moves faster.
He jerks away sharply, water splashing from the sudden motion, an angry sound leaving him as he turns, grabs the ladder, and climbs out, and I swear under my breath because this has gone out of control.
My desire, my insanity just took over for a moment… and I crossed the line. And I have no idea what the hell got into me!
"????! [8]Blue!" I call. "Wait!"
"Mister Lowen to you!" he throws over his shoulder, already standing on the tiles, but I launch myself out of the pool after him, furious at myself for letting this spiral.
"Wait, Blue, I mean, Mr. Lowen, I’m sorry, I just—"
He stops abruptly and turns on me, his eyes blazing, narrowed with anger.
"I knew these constant conversations, these questions, would lead nowhere good. This ends now! Our relationship is strictly professional, Gabriel, and it will never be anything more.Never!I expect you to completely rid yourself of any thoughts of me in that context, and certainly of any gestures. I don't wish to be touched outside of life-threatening situations."
I meet his gaze, burning with deep outrage, but there’s something else there too, something frantic, almost panicked, like he’s trying to drown something out inside himself, at least that’s how it feels to me. On one level he’s furious, and on another, he’s… afraid. Of what? Me?
Himself?
"I’m warning you, Gabriel. If you cross the line again, the contract will be terminated, and I’ll have you sent to prison to serve the rest of your sentence locked in a cell!" His voice is heavy, hostile.
For a moment, I see again that Blue I’ve known over the past years, the hateful CEO of a giant corporation, ruthless and cold.
There’s a moment of silence. My heart gallops like a wild mustang, pain constricting my throat. I only give a slow nod, feeling like I’m about to faint.
"Forgive me! I apologize wholeheartedly, Mr. Lowen. It won’t happen again." The words drag out of my throat, shaky, almost painful.
He turns and walks away, and something jerks in my chest, like a thread just snapped there painfully, breaking between us.
I close my eyes, and…
I throw up!
The content of the delicious dinner is now on his perfect roof garden tiles. Fuck!
I land on my knees, feeling sick to my stomach.
Did our relationship just take a wrong turn, because of my stupidity?
Did my hunger, my desperate need for closeness, just become the one thing that ruins me?
I sway slightly and then lose consciousness.
???
Out of the darkness and fog, awareness slowly returns, and I realize I’m lying in a bed. I don’t have the strength to open my eyes yet, but the first sense that comes back online is hearing.
At first, the words around me are muffled, but then I start to make them out.
I think it’s James, Blue’s butler.
