Blue slowly turns his gaze away from the window.
Our eyes meet, and he speaks in a somewhat peculiar tone.
"Alright. As a scientist I should be skeptical, but I agree."
"Thank you. I don’t want us to take even the slightest risk."
His hand makes a small gesture toward me, and I really want to take his hand, but unexpectedly there’s a kind of fear in me, feeling that I’m not worthy of it.
How easy it was to judge him while sitting in a room full of other activists spewing their hatred, fuming with hostility. I got caught up in the same energy without ever reflecting on it, and now I feel shitty for it.
"I didn’t deserve this," I blurt out on a wave of emotions. "To have you. I don’t know how it happened that Fate matched us together. That’s just wild…"
Blue turns toward me again almost sharply, as if my words upset him.
"Why would you say that? You don’t understand how I see these things. My perspective is completely different."
"If we weren’t True Mates, you wouldn’t even look at me, Blue. That’s the truth."
His sapphire eyes move over my face, attentive, as if trying to understand the real cause of my outburst.
"Don’t do this, Gabriel. Don’t put yourself so low. Don’t feel like we aren’t equals."
But I keep going, recklessly.
"We’re not. I haven’t done anything to deserve you except being genetically compatible. That’s my only merit. It’s asickening feeling. Like I’m taking something,stealingsomething I didn’t earn."
"Gabriel, stop. You saved my life."
I squeeze my eyes shut and burst out,
"I have a request! When we arrive at your family estate, please let me stay in the limousine. I need more time before I face them. Please."
Blue falls silent, his eyes fixed on my face.
"What caused this, Gabriel? Will you explain what you’re feeling?"
I don’t answer for a long time, searching within myself, but eventually one specific image rises from my memory.
"I feel guilty over the way I acted against you, spreading lies and slander. In Marcel’s room, where we always met, there was a picture of you with a bullseye drawn over it. Marcel liked throwing darts. Sometimes he asked me to throw them, because he knew I never missed. Day after day, every time we met, we threw darts at your face until only scraps were left hanging on the wall… How could you ever love someone like that? A stupid punk, a worthless piece of shit…"
Blue’s expression doesn’t change. He watches me closely, as if trying to see straight through me.
I squeeze my eyes shut again.
"Please, let me stay in the car. I don’t want to go in."
Blue lowers his head.
"Alright. I won’t insist," he says calmly, his eyes now fixed on his hands as he slowly moves his fingers, interlacing and separating them in thought.
I watch him, his dark blue hair carrying the faint scent of eucalyptus, his soft lips pink and inviting. I want to feel them against mine, but I realize I shouldn’t be the one reaching for that.
We spend the rest of the drive in silence. Blue is lost in thought, looking out the window, and I can clearly sense some kind of emotional turbulence inside him.
We arrive at the massive residence of the Lowen patriarch. Even from a distance, I can see the imposing structure of the estate, surrounded by gardens.
Soon the guards let us through one gate, and then… another.
