He lowers his head, long strands of rich brown hair with a reddish sheen falling across his face. He stays quiet for a moment, then suddenly adds, "The problem is, I don’t know what I want to do with my life. Because what I want the most is impossible for me."
"Impossible?" Blue says. "I deal with ‘impossible’ every day. Maybe I can help?"
Marlow presses his lips together, hesitating, and then suddenly says, "I feel like I wasn’t born in the body I should have had. Inside… I’m an omega."
A heavy silence falls over the table. I stare at him, gaping. I’ve known my brother for years, and he’s never said anything like this, and yet now he’s telling Blue! Why? It's clearly TMI!
The silence stretches, tense, and then Marlow continues, which is even more surprising for someone as closed off as he usually is. What’s driving this?
"I want to live like omegas. I want to have a child… children. But I was born an alpha, and I can’t change that."
"?? ??? ??????, ??????? ?? ??????, ??? ??? ?????????? ???? ??? ????????? ? ????"
"??????? ?? ????!" [12]
"Do you know I can translate what you’re saying in real time thanks to this," Blue taps his electronic glasses, "so you might as well speak English."
I curse quietly under my breath, and Marlow mutters, "I apologize. But I didn’t start it," giving me a dark, pointed look.
Blue shrugs slightly and says.
"Okay. As you may know, I’m the architect of the Beta Activation project. We focus on awakening fertility in betas. Even that alone isn’t easy, because the ABO population reacts poorly to artificial hormones, and the results are mixed. We’ve had some successes, but also setbacks. Research is ongoing, though it’s not particularly popular with the public."
Marlow perks up. "I’ve heard about it, and I’ve read a lot. It’s an excellent project. And honestly, it’s absurd that some people try to discourage others instead of letting individuals choose. If betas want to become omegas, that’s nobody else’s business," he says, a note of defiance in his voice.
Blue lifts his brows slightly, looking faintly amused by Marlow’s enthusiasm.
"I share that view. The program is strictly voluntary, so I don’t see an issue with it, morally or otherwise. It’s each person’s decision what they want to do with their own body." He lowers his voice slightly. "As for alphas… well, we don’t include them in the program because the level of difficulty is higher. All ABOs have vestigial uteruses, but…" He hesitates, as if reluctant to take away Marlow’s hope, then continues carefully, "you see, in betas, their bodies aren’t saturated with testosterone to the same extent as alphas, so their uteruses are more receptive tohormones typical of an omega endocrine system. Alphas, on the other hand, have systems essentially flooded with testosterone, which makes their uteruses even more regressed than in betas."
Marlow sits with his head lowered, poking at the mussels on his plate with his fork.
After a moment, he adds, disappointment clear in his voice, "I understand. Nature is working against me. It’s not easy to live like this, not feeling right in your own body, but…" He trails off, then suddenly straightens. "I’m sorry for bringing the mood down. I didn’t mean to ruin lunch."
"It’s not a problem. There are no sad topics for me, only… challenges," Blue says, winking and smiling with surprising warmth.
My goodness, there’s so much more kindness in him than I ever expected. I love him…
Wait, what?! I catch that thought and immediately shut it down. Fighting a chuckle that’s coming.
I'm absurdly ahead of myself.
"I’ll keep an eye on the progress of the Beta Activation project, and I’ll bear in mind that there are also alphas who would want to awaken their fertility. That could be an interesting project," Blue adds, and I can’t stop being struck by the warmth in his voice.
Marlow nods with gratitude visible in his eyes.
The rest of the meal passes in a lighter atmosphere. Marlow seems a little more energized, and they spend some time discussing the Beta Empowerment movement, which opposes the Beta Activation program, claiming it effectively turns betas into omegas and leads to "beta erasure," along with exchanging some casual thoughts on politics.
Afterward, Marlow says goodbye, politely inclining his head to Blue, explaining that he needs to head home because he has an exam on Monday and needs to study.
I decide to walk him to the elevator, and once we’re alone in the wide hallway beyond the penthouse doors, I finally say it.
"Why didn’t you ever tell me? You told Blue the first time you met him, and I, your own brother, had no idea how you really feel about your gender?"
It comes out sounding a little accusatory, but the surprise is just too much.
Marlow looks away, his silver-green eyes settling on the smooth surface of the elevator doors.
"Blue approaches it as a scientist. And you… you wouldn’t understand. You’ve always felt comfortable as an alpha. You’re exclusively attracted to omegas, it’s natural for you."
