"It's nothing like that.It's just you guys are a family.The three of you."
"But I want it to be the four of us."
She ran her hand over Tanya's hair."I'd like that too.But sometimes, things don't work out the way we'd like them to.Come on.We should get these bags inside before that ice cream melts."
Harper put the groceries away while Tanya sat with a forlorn look on her face at the kitchen table, her arms folded, her chin resting on top of them.She didn't say anything — she didn't need to.The heartbroken look on her face said it all.
Harper had almost finished before Alana appeared in the kitchen doorway.She tensed, waiting for Alana to speak.Harper had thought Alana would be relieved to hear that she was moving back to the cottage, but the way the girl stormed into the house had left her confused.
"So this is it, you're really leaving us?"Alana asked eventually.
"I'm not leaving you, Alana.I'm just moving out of your space."
Alana's lips were set in a hard line."Well, I suppose if things aren't going to work out for you and Dad, it's better that he finds out now."
Harper didn't know what to say, so she simply nodded.She'd honestly thought that Alana would be relieved, but it didn't seem that way.She blew out a sigh."Look, I probably shouldn't be this straight with you."She glanced at Tanya."With either of you, but I don't know how to be anything else.Nothing's gone wrong between your dad and me.I like him very much — I think the world of him."
"But you don't love him," Tanya said flatly.
Harper inhaled sharply.
"You can't," Tanya continued."If you loved him, you wouldn't leave."
"It's not about that," Harper tried to assure her."It’s…"
"But do you—love him?"Alana interrupted.
Harper felt cornered.She'd known her own answer to that question for a while now, but she tried to avoid it even inside her own head.She certainly hadn't told Emmett how she felt, and telling the girls...But with Alana's gaze boring into her, she felt like she owed the girl the truth.
"I do love him.And I love you."
Alana's eyes filled with tears.Harper wanted to go to her but didn't know if that might make things worse."I love both of you," she added with a look at Tanya."But it's a complicated situation."
She tensed when Alana stalked toward her and then had to hold in a sob when the girl flung her arms around her and hugged her tight.
"It's a shitty situation, Harper.And I'm sorry.I've been a bitch to you.And I bet you hate me.Am I the reason you're leaving?"
"Oh my God, Alana, no.What on earth makes you think that?You haven't been a bitch to me."
"I didn't mean to, but it's hard, you know.I can see that you and Dad are good for each other.But you're not Mom."
Harper squeezed her eyes tight shut, but even that couldn't hold in the tears."I know, sweetie.I'm not your mom.I've never been a mom.And I would never try to be yours."
"But we need you to be," Tanya piped up from her spot at the table before coming to hug them both."Not our real mom.Our real mom's gone and we still love her.But we need you..."She looked up at her sister."We do, you know."
Alana sniffed."I know.But…" She stepped back."But I still remember Mom.More than you do, Button.Sometimes when I see Harper sitting in her chair, or laughing with Dad, or… them looking at each other the way they do, it's… hard."
Harper's hand came up to cover her mouth."I'm sorry, Alana."
Alana shook her head vigorously."See, that's the thing.You're not doing anything wrong.I know you’re not.But that doesn't make it any easier, you know."
She swallowed visibly and grabbed a Kleenex from the box on the counter before blowing her nose loudly."It's such a shitty situation.You've been good to us.You've been good to Dad.But it's all just so...hard."
"I know," Harper agreed."And that's why I'm moving back to the cottage.It's not because I don't want to be with you guys.I do.But I don't want to make things feel shitty for you in your own house."
Alana blew out a sigh."What does Dad think?"
Harper shrugged."He agreed that it's best if I go."
