“And how’s Anita working out?”
Alastair rolled his eyes. “She’s doing her best, bless her, but she’s not you. There’s no way I’m ever going to be able to replace you.” He reached across the table and took hold of her hand.
Charlotte squeezed his hand and dropped her gaze. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. It’s okay. We’re supposed to be celebrating, remember?” He pushed her glass toward her and lifted his own. “Champagne didn’t seem right, so I thought we could toast our new beginnings with a Chardonnay instead.”
She smiled and touched her glass against his. “I hope this marks a wonderful new beginning for you, Alastair. I really do. You deserve to be happy.”
He nodded. “I will be, and so will you.” He pursed his lips. “Is it going to be a new beginning for you? Are you going to go forward in life, or are you going back?”
Charlotte shrugged. “I’d like to go back. You know that.”
“I’ve always known that. It’s not as though you didn’t tell me right from the beginning that you still loved him. I just wish I’d believed you. I wish I’d understood just how powerful a love like that can be. I thought you’d forget him … I thought ….”
“I’m sorry.”
“No, I’m trying to sayI’msorry. If I’d understood it was possible to feel what you felt—what you still feel—I would never have put either of us in that situation. I’m sorry that I let what I wanted deafen me to what you were telling me. You told me you still loved him. I wanted you to love me more, and I believed that you would.” He gave her a sad smile. “I guess my ego couldn’t accept that I wasn’t enough to make you forget him.”
“I hoped you would.”
“So did I.” Alastair sucked in a deep breath. “But here we are.” He lifted his glass again. “I wish you only the best, Lottie. I hope you and Ben can fix what you broke and have a happy future together.”
“Thank you. I hope you find someone who’ll love you the way you deserve to be loved.”
He smiled. “Me too. I hope we’ll always be friends?”
Charlotte nodded and swallowed the lump in her throat. “I’d love to, but I don’t feel like I deserve your friendship.”
Alastair scowled at her. “Come on, Lottie. This is hard and it’s sad, but don’t go turning into one of those women who thinks she’s not worthy. It wouldn’t suit you. We might not have made it as a couple, but we’re still two pretty amazing people. I don’t want to lose you completely.”
She smiled and squeezed his hand. “I don’t want to lose you, either. I’d love for us to stay friends.”
“Then we will.”
After they’d eaten, Alastair looked at his watch. “I suppose I’d better get going.”
“Okay. Thanks for having lunch with me. I’m glad we did this.”
“We needed this. Let’s do it again before I leave?”
She nodded. “I’d like that.”
“Me too.” Alastair sighed. “I promised myself I wouldn’t ask you this, but how is Ben? What are your plans?”
She met his gaze and sighed. “I haven’t been in touch with him.”
Alastair raised an eyebrow. “Still?”
“No. He respected our marriage. He didn’t want to …” She shrugged. She didn’t know what words to say, and she didn’t think Alastair would want to hear them anyway.
Alastair nodded. “He’s a good guy, isn’t he?”
Charlotte nodded, not trusting herself to speak.
“Well,” he gave her a forced smile, “now the divorce is final the two of you can get on with it.”
Charlotte flung her arms around his neck. He hugged her back and kissed the top of her head. “Good luck, Lottie.”
