“So, what are you saying?”
Smoke shrugged.
“You’re saying that youdidn’treact that way with Leanne because you love Laura. So, if Ididreact that way to Angel, I can’t love Charlotte?”
“I’m not saying anything, bud. I’m leaving you to draw your own conclusions.”
Ben shook his head vigorously. “I love Charlotte. I always have.”
“Do you even know who Charlotte is anymore? The person you loved was an eighteen-year-old girl. And you were an eighteen-year-old boy.”
Ben met his gaze. “Yes, but …” He buried his face in his hands. “But I still love her. She’s a part of who I am.”
“Is she, though? Is Charlotte a part of who you are? Or is the myth, the legend, the memory a part of you?”
Ben thought about that for a long few moments. “Do you think that’s what it is?”
“Hey, I’m not saying I know anything. I’m just asking the questions.”
Ben nodded. “I’ve never thought about it like that before. You’re right. I don’t even know who she is now. She’s led her own life all this time. Hell, she’s been married to someone else for years. HowdoI know that I still love her? How does she know that she still loves me? Are we really just in love with a memory?”
Smoke leaned back in his chair. “I have no idea, but I think you need to figure it out.”
“Yeah. I guess I do. If she ever even gets in touch.”
~ ~ ~
Angel opened the gate and walked up the path to the little house she was renting. She unlocked the front door and let herself in. She went straight to the kitchen and poured herself a big glass of wine. What on earth had she been thinking? She’d be lucky if Ben didn’t fire her! She went to stand beside the window and stared out at the little backyard.
Had she really asked him if he wanted to get into something casual with her, while he waited for Charlotte? She reached up to unfasten the clip that held her hair in place. She felt better as it fell loose around her shoulders. She’d never asked a man out in her life before tonight—let alone shamelessly propositioned one like she just had Ben. He just had this effect on her. She couldn’t help it. She truly felt that they were perfect for each other. It was obvious. They worked so well together, they had the same work ethic—she’d never known anyone in the world who put their work ahead of everything else in the same way she did. Even aside from the work, they got along so well. They laughed, they understood each other. She blew out a big sigh. Not to mention the fact that he was gorgeous! And he was her kind of guy. He wasn’t the in-your-face alpha; he was kind and compassionate. He looked out for everyone and he got things done.
She went to sit down on the sofa. She’d finally met her perfect match. And wasn’t it just her luck that he was in love with someone else? It’d be so much easier for her to accept that, if Charlotte were here. If she could see Ben with his woman, then it’d be easy. She’d still admire him from afar, but that’d be all. She wouldn’t keep having all these stupid fantasies that they could be together. But no. Charlotte wasn’t here. Ben hadn’t even seen her in years, apart from one time a couple of months ago. It was like she was competing with a ghost. Except Charlotte was only a ghost to her. Everyone else—all of Ben’s friends and half of his customers—knew Charlotte andknewthat Ben would get back with her someday. They were all determined not to let another woman near him—at least they were determined not to let Angel near him. She wanted to be angry at them for that. They didn’t know, they couldn’t decide what was best for him. She couldn’t bring herself to be angry at them, though. If anything, she envied Ben his friends. They cared so much about him. She would love to be accepted amongst them, to have them want to look out for her, too. But she was the outsider, the threat, and left out in the cold. It was lonely, as well as cold. It was always hard to move to a new place and to have to make new friends. Here in Summer Lake, it seemed even harder. There was this whole group of friends that she would love to be a part of, but she couldn’t. She wasn’t welcome.
Maybe she should just leave? Give her notice at work and move on. Would that be better? She took a sip of her wine and shook her head. No. That would be cowardly. She’d leave Ben in the lurch and she’d hate to do that. And besides, the way he’d reacted tonight gave her at least the tiniest hope. He’d said he wasn’t interested in getting into something casual with her. She cringed at the fact that she’d even suggested it. He’d said he wasn’t interested, but when she’d stepped in close to kiss him, he’d reacted as though he wanted her. His arms had given her a different answer than his words. His arms had closed around her and held her to him. She sighed. It had felt so good. So right. But then he’d pushed her away and asked her to leave. She couldn’t leave. She’d hang on in there, maybe with time he’d realize that there could be something between them.
~ ~ ~
Ben opened his eyes and rolled onto his side. It was still dark, but it was time to get up. Time to start another day. He sat up and pulled on his sweats then headed for the kitchen to make coffee. He took a quick shower while he waited for it to brew and then poured himself a mug and went to sit out on the balcony. He tried to make his mind run through the checklists of everything he needed to do today. It was part of his morning routine; it stopped his mind from wandering to places it shouldn’t go. Places like London, where Charlotte lived—or at least as far as he knew she still lived there. He couldn’t focus on his to-do list this morning though. His mind was flitting around. Memories of last night kept sneaking in, the sight of Angel looking at him so hopefully. The way she’d held his hand. The way she’d felt in his arms. He shuddered. That shouldn’t feel good, but it did. He took a big swig of coffee and scalded his tongue. He remembered sitting in the café in the airport in Vegas, drinking coffee with Charlotte, being so happy to be near her again. He remembered the waves of shock that had crashed through him as they both realized that it had been her parents who had kept them apart. He remembered his last email conversation with her. It had been so hard to let go again, to tell her that he felt it was best for them to have no contact while she was still married. She’d understood. They’d done the right thing. But how he wished they’d kept in contact. How he wished he knew what she was thinking right now.
He took another sip of his coffee, more cautiously this time, as he thought about his conversation with Smoke and all the questions it had raised. How did he know he was still in love with Charlotte? He didn’t know who she was anymore. But he did! He knew who she was, he’d always known her and always would. Years and distance didn’t change that. He sighed. Or did they? Was he just kidding himself? Was it really like Smoke had said; that he was in love with the memory, the myth that was Charlie and Ben?
He looked at his watch. Sitting here pondering it all wasn’t going to give him any of the answers he needed. And it wasn’t going to get his day underway. He stood up. It was time to get to work.
He made his way to the lodge to check in with the night auditor, then headed over to the Boathouse. Once he’d opened everywhere up, he let himself into the office in the back. He didn’t like to do too much paperwork on Sundays, but there were a few things he needed to catch up on. He fired up the computer and waited.
Once he was logged in, he didn’t get any further than his email. There it was. The message he’d been waiting for—from Charlotte.
He stared at the screen for a few moments, afraid to click and see what she had to say. He took a deep breath and opened it.
Hey you.
I’m sorry it’s taken me so long. You were right—as always. I needed to take the time to do things properly and I’m glad I did. Thank you.
I had lunch with Alastair today. We separated a couple of days after you and I last spoke. Today we had something to celebrate.
Ben’s heart thundered in his chest—what could they be celebrating? He peered at the screen as the words blurred before him.
Today we got our final divorce papers through.
