Of course. Tyler needed a push, and I figured a little jealousy was just what the doctor ordered.
I told him you were very single and extremely interested.
Me
Gross. And also, brilliant.
Maya
Cait, you could rule the world. You should rule the world. You would do a way better job than all the mediocre men who keep fucking things up.
Maddy
I was wondering why you banned us from staging a rescue operation.
Caitlin
Because if you rescued her from the dude-bro, Tyler would probably still be sitting at the corner table staring at her with that dopey, lovestruck look on his face.
Me
He wasn’t looking at me like that.
Maddy
Uh, yes he was.
Sarah
One hundred percent he was.
Caitlin
I was trying to save him from himself. It was getting pathetic.
Emmy
I stand in awe. You are diabolical. And a genius. A diabolical genius.
Caitlin
Oh, I know.
Sarah
So, spill, Soph. If we need to bury a body I’ll come for moral support, but these hands were not made to hold a shovel. Scalpel, yes. Garden tools, no.
I laugh, practically kicking my heels as I type.
Me
If we’re burying anyone it’ll be me because Tyler almost killed me with multiple orgasms. Three to be exact. Or maybe four. The last one was so long I have no idea whether it was one or two. I saw god. She was pleased.
Maya
FUCKING RIGHT HE DID.
Maddy
