RenegadeRush
If animals could talk, which one do you think would be the rudest?
I grin down at my phone, giving myself a metaphorical pat on the back for asking the best question ever. Squeezing chocolate syrup into my glass of milk, I give it a stir before carrying it to my kitchen island and sliding onto a stool just as my phone buzzes.
ChaosQueen
It’s six-thirty in the morning.
RenegadeRush
I figured a question from me would be an excellentstart to your day.
ChaosQueen
The time on the clock starting with anything later than a nine and a cup of coffee the size of my head is an excellent start to my day. This is…something else.
RenegadeRush
Not a morning person?
ChaosQueen
Mornings can fuck all the way off. I hate mornings. Mornings should never be a thing.
Giraffes.
RenegadeRush
What about them?
ChaosQueen
I think they would be the rudest.
Look at the way they hold their heads, noses stuck right in the air like they don’t give one single fuck.
And the way they swish their tails? It’s giving I am so much better than you and I know it.
RenegadeRush
Okay well I now need to go to the zoo to observe this phenomenon in person.
ChaosQueen
When it’s not a polar freaking vortex outside, do that and report back. Now that I’ve brought it to your attention, you won’t be able to unsee it.
RenegadeRush
And do you have a question for me?
ChaosQueen
What’s the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you?
Without warning or permission, a scene from last night slams into my head. Crash tackling Sophie on the couch and tickling her until she shrieked. Pulling her into my lap to continue the torture. It’s nothing that hasn’t happened before, so I have absolutely no explanation for what came next. She was wiggling on my lap and all of a sudden, I was hard. And not a half-chub that would probably be normal when someone is rubbing her ass all over your lap.
No.
