She told herself she would not cry. She wouldn't.
But the elf in the corner was absolutely right. And she knew he was. He was always right.
So she took a breath and just started talking. She told them everything that Gunnar knew. Not the details or the horrors that should only plague her, but the parts on which she was stuck. The parts that still ached. The fear and the anguish that came with knowing what had happened to her, and what those men might have taken.
It was a lot for anyone to hold. Let alone people who loved her.
Astrid ended up on the bed, sitting there with her eyes wide and her hands curled in her lap. She didn't say a word, though, and Rose was glad for it. Her sister already held so much guilt for her, and it wasn't Astrid's fault. She hadn't been there when the king had taken Rose, but it hadn't ever been Astrid's job to lookout for her. Rose had been an adult. She was the one who should have known how to look after herself better.
When she finished, Vigdis folded the dress Rose had previously been wearing and placed it on top of her wardrobe. "Your story is unique in its violence, Rose, but there are many who share stories of men taking what is not theirs to take."
Rose quickly looked at the other woman, noticing the proud set of her shoulders and the strength that came from those words. "You?"
"Many of us, Rose. Many. Women throughout the centuries have always carried this burden. But we can carry it together." She reached out her hands for Rose to take, not grabbing, just being there in case Rose wanted someone to touch her and she...
She did.
Gunnar was the only one she hadn't minded touching her, but now, she touched Vigdis and knew without a doubt that this wouldn't make her skin crawl. This was a woman who understood her. This was a woman who could see.
Rose’s leg jittered beneath her dress as she voiced the one concern that made her heart break. "I have put myself back together. I know there will be days when a loose piece shakes free again and it'll take a while to find it, but I.... What if he doesn't want me because of what I have endured? Men put value in women for what their bodies are worth, and mine has been tainted by so many."
It was Astrid who replied. "Troll men are not like humans, and I'd hazard a guess there are still some good human men out there. Regardless, Gunnar is one of the best. He already knows there is more to you than your past."
"A woman's value does not come from here." Vigdis waved a hand up and down her own body, gesturing to her curves while passing breasts and wide hips. Then her hand landed over her heart. "It comes from here. From the soul that tells her how toguide her family. From the heart that tells her how to love. This is your strength and your purpose. If he cannot see past the flesh, then he does not deserve the soul."
The words burned inside Rose.
Gunnar saw beyond the flesh. He'd saved her from the labyrinth. He was one of the few men who had protected her. He'd never touched her without permission, and he never wanted to scare her. He'd done everything right.
All he'd wanted was to see her blossom into something beautiful and free. Now it was time for her to bloom.
"A game of passion," she said. "What should I expect from this?"
"You will choose out of your suitors and then they will take you back to their homes. It is also a good way for us to see how they live." Vigdis made a face. "Many men are messy, and few troll wives want to train their husbands how to be clean."
Astrid chuckled and Rose laughed with them. The idea of living with Gunnar was likely a messy future. She'd seen him come in after he'd been out fighting in a war band. Yes, of course he always cleaned, but he took off his armor and dropped it onto the floor first. Someone else had to come in and pick it up. Now that they were bonded, she was quite certain that probably meant that she was the person who was supposed to be cleaning up after him.
No, she wasn't going to do that. Like Vigdis said, she would have to train him to pick up after himself because it would not be her job. The man was an adult. He could do that for himself.
Taking a deep breath, she told herself she would walk into that clearing with a clear head and a clear mind. This was what she wanted.
Astrid reached for her hand, both women holding on to Rose. And then her sister said, "I cannot say I have gone through what you have, little sister. But I can say that you have never chosento be physical with another person. Until him. You are safe with Gunnar. You always have been. That feeling will guide you. And if you have to stop, you tell him to stop."
She nodded. "And if I don't want to stop?"
"Then you don't question it," Vigdis said. "Your body remembers things that your mind does not. But there is no guilt in pleasure. You are taking this moment for yourself, your mind, your body. He knows that. He is lucky to be in that room with you, and if you both find pleasure, then that is good. If you don't, then he will work for as long as you desire to make sure that you at least enjoy yourself."
"And if he doesn't, Bjorn will castrate him." Astrid seemed entirely serious about that when she said it, and it made Rose blink a few times.
"Castrate him?" she said. "Why would he do that?"
"He has no use of his manhood if he cannot bring pleasure with it."
Her sister. Her demure, quiet, calm sister just said that without a single hesitation on her face.
Rose tilted her head back to the ceiling and laughed. She laughed so hard she cried, tears streaming down her face as the others joined her, and they were all laughing so hard that she couldn't breathe. It was so funny, maybe it wasn't at all, but it was at the same time.
When she caught her breath, she squeezed the hands of the two women who had laid yet another piece back in her chest and gently sealed it in place.
