He shoved one of the men next to him, clearly in jest as they both headed toward the crowd. The others were already doing their rounds, flexing for women who shouted at them. The women competing in the bridal games were a show to watch, considering many of them were already doing acrobatic acts that bent their bodies into all manner of twists and turns.
But Rose’s eyes were on Gunnar and Gunnar alone.
"He's competing?" she asked.
"Yes, I guess so. Ragnar was arguing with him about it, but apparently King Egil wants to see him married off, and sooner rather than later,” Astrid said. “I wonder what kind of woman he'll go after. Gunnar always seems so wild and untamed. It's hard to imagine someone who could finally pin him down." She glanced over at Rose. "Although... I suppose he's been rather domestic with you."
Gunnar was competing in the bridal games.
For a bride.
Just like that, the world snapped out of existence. She was sitting on the stands one second, and the next, she was in Rhydian's office. At least this time she didn't have to walk around, wandering. She could leave her body sitting right on those stands, pretending to watch like all the other people, but she didn't have to see what it was that had startled her.
Rhydian glanced up from his desk. She was seated at the matching desk, likely having suddenly blinked into his life as well.
"What are you doing here?" he asked. "You're supposed to be in Trollveggen."
"I know. There's one last piece to your puzzle. I'll find it." She looked down at her hands curled up in her lap and swallowed hard. "I just... I guess I had to leave for a little while."
He looked at her with pity and then set down his quill.
Details of the room slowly became clearer. There was a fire in the hearth, one that she knew was carved with berries and pinecones that looked so real they could have pricked her finger if she touched one. The warm carpet underneath her feet was woven by other elves in intricate spell patterns that she still didn't know how to read.
Rhydian’s feet were silent as he approached her and sat on the edge of her desk. "Rose, I've been meaning to speak with you about these... wanderings, as you call them." He took his glasses off and stared down his long nose at her. His too wide eyes were filled with pity. "You need to stop hiding here as much as you do."
"This is more real to me than the other world."
"I know that. But... that's not healthy, you see? We need to make sure that you live. Because..." He sighed. Reached for her hands. Held them close as he had never done before, with a kindness she did not usually see from him.
Her heart sped up. "What is it?"
"Ask me the question again."
She gulped. "What question?"
"The question you always ask me. The question that means something and changes everything." He squeezed her hands, and she could feel how different they were from her own. Ice cold. So thin they were hard to hold on to. "Ask me."
"Why aren't you with the other elves? Why are you here with me?"
It was the question that had burned through her for countless years now. The one question he would never answer, no matter how many times she had asked it.
"Because I'm dead."
She stared at him. Surely she hadn't heard him right. There were a lot of different explanations for why she was the only one who could see him, why he was hiding in her head, but none of her theories had led her to this point.
"What?" she asked.
"I'm dead, Rose. I was killed centuries ago in the wars before the elves left. Where your King James built his castle was an old battleground, the first and only battle where humans actually won. I was one of many scholars who were forced to enlist as soldiers, and I was not a very good one." He released one of her hands to brush the backs of his fingers against her cheek. "And then you found me. I was doomed to an eternity of boredom and then, in my wanderings, found a young human girl who had no idea how powerful her magic really was."
"I don't have magic," she whispered. "They tried to find it for years until King James pulled it out of me. All I can do is disappear."
"Into the realm of the dead," Rhydian added with a nod. "You can disappear. You are a Soul Walker, Rose. And I attached myself to you for so many years now, selfishly, in the hopes that you would bring me peace. You did so much more than that. But now I have to let you live. I cannot hoard you and your magic to myself while knowing that there's a world out there for you to see."
Tears burned in her eyes. "I don't understand. You've always been my safe place, Rhydian. I don't care if you're alive or if you're dead."
"And I care very much if you are alive or dead." He smiled at her, and the hearth faded away.
She could feel it. Him. Drifting away from her touch until there was only the phantom sensation of his hands holding on to her.
