Those wide eyes still stared up at her. “What does that mean?”
She tugged on his hair, making him slide his way up her body until their mouths were just a breath apart. “It means, I think you’re right. I don’t have to like you right now to fuck you. Because you are ever so good at fucking.”
Their mouths crashed together. She wasn’t sure if she was the first one to move forward, or if it was him. It didn’t matter as he groaned into her mouth and surged forward. Elric smashed his hips into hers, shoving her against the wall infinitely more firmly as all of a sudden he consumed her.
His lips tasted like desperation. His movements were frantic as his hands grabbed her waist, one sliding up her ribs and the other down to palm her ass.
She could feel the hard bar of him pressed against her belly, but also she knew that this was his chance to show her what he wanted. What he needed.
It was also her chance to show him that she would not be controlled.
Breathing hard, she nipped hard at his lips. “I hate that you thought you could do this to me.”
“I know,” he murmured, pulling away from kissing her to press those kisses to her neck instead. His hand came up, palming her breast and flicking his thumb over her nipple in the way he knew she liked.
He played her body so easily. All he had to do was touch her and she was on fire. She hated that.
Elric slid his knee up hard, pressing the muscles of his thigh where she ached the most. She could feel how wet she already was; even worse, somehow he managed to press his knee right against her clit. Sparks of pleasure danced behind her eyes as she squeezed them shut.
All of this was made even worse because she didn’t hate what he did to her. She just hated that she had no choice in the matter. That she’d been wanting this, needing this, and it wasn’t just about the sex.
Because his hands made her feel wanted. The breathy sounds he made against her neck made her proud of what she could do to him. And the closeness when his fingers danced along the edge of her waistband? It made her feel like the goddess he swore he worshipped, after all.
Again, he groaned against her neck before giving up on her pants and moving his hand underneath her shirt. He cupped her breast beneath it, that same groan again echoing in his throat.
Like a starving man, he begged her with every needy noise. This wasn’t a side of him she’d seen before.
Gripping his hair, she urged his head down so he caught the tip of her breast in his mouth. The way he immediately swirled his tongue around her nipple, scraping her with his teeth. His other hand encouraged her leg to wrap around his hips.
He rocked against her. Every nerve ending in her body fired white hot as his cock ground against her through their clothing. She wanted him so badly, and she hated that this entire interaction was cursed by what he had done. Because she wanted his dirty words in her ear. She wanted to feel every bit of him thrusting inside of her.
But, she supposed, he had said he wanted her to use him. If this was his way of making amends, even if it wasn’t entirely going to work, then she would do it.
Because perhaps this was her way to make amends as well. Jessamine hated how she’d hurt him by distancing herself. He was right, after all. She was punishing both of them.
Grabbing his hair again, she yanked him back to her lips. “This changes nothing.”
“Not a single thing.”
“I’m still mad at you.” She wrestled with his belt, tearing it off like the long tail of a whip and throwing it into the garden behind him.
“I would expect nothing less.” He grabbed onto her pants and yanked them down, hard. They tangled around her thighs for a moment before he managed to get them off and let them pool at her feet. “You hate me now.”
Growling, she kissed him hard enough to taste blood. “I could never hate you, Elric. That’s the problem. I want to hate you for what you did, but you are still breathing and so I cannot hate you. Because the only thing that would make me actually hate you is losing you.”
He appeared shocked for a moment, but she barely let him think about the words before she grabbed his cock. Then he wasn’t thinking about anything other than her fingers wrapped around the base of him, choking all the thoughts out of his mind.
He grabbed onto her waist again, tossing her up the wall and steadying her with his body.
With a single thrust, he was in her. She threw her head back, her eyes caught on the stars as she was stretched nearly beyond her limits. Even Elric froze, their breath held as they both paused.
She shouldn’t look at him. This wasn’t about connection. This was about using him to feel better about herself and to distract herself from… everything.
But her gaze still moved. She looked at him, at his face framed by starlight and the silhouettes of unkept roses behind him, and all she could think was how handsome he was. How much her heart hurt when he was around because some part of her was terrified about what it would mean if she stayed here with him. Losing herself to a god? Was she mad?
He’d shown her all those memories to make it very clear that he wasterrified he would become like them. That someday he would lose every ounce of his humanity and his respect for the people who worshipped him.
Elric shook as he leaned down and pressed his lips to hers. Not a biting, angry kiss like all the others. No, this one was soft. An apology whispered through the soft glide of his tongue against her bottom lip.
