But what I mean is uglier than that.
Don’t shut me out the way my dad has all these years.
Suddenly, my phone rings.
At the worst time possible.
I fumble in my jeans pocket, trying to fish it out. When I finally do, my heart drops. Elowyn’s name pops up.
She’s not texting. She’s calling.
That can’t be good.
“Are you going to answer that?” Cash asks me.
I swallow hard and hit the end button.
As soon as the phone is back in my pocket, it rings again. But I manage to shut it off quickly.
“I don’t understand why this is a big deal now,” Ingrid finally says as she huffs. Loudly.
There are a million reasons. The NYU acceptance letter. Margot having cancer. My long, non-existent relationship with my father. Wanting Ingrid so much it hurts.
I’ve lost a lot of people in my life. I can’t lose her, too.
“Because I’m worried that one day you’ll figure out I’m not right for you either,” I admit. A little too honestly.
Her face falls.
“I’ll never feel that way,” she says, like I’ve scratched at something raw inside of her. “Why would you think that?”
I shake my head. “I don’t know.”
But I do know. If Cash Allred couldn’t keep her, how the hell am I supposed to?
“I’ve never felt more like myself than when I’m with you,” she tells me. There’s a pause before she adds, “Do you remember when we skinny dipped at the lake?”
The entire cable car groans, Cash included.
I guess a group of strangers is getting a crash course on our lore.
“I remember.”
Ingrid gives me a small smile as she reaches for my hand and lays it on her chest, right over her heart.
“I am my own, Wilder Cox,” she says, laying my hand over her heart. “But you got in here. You made the ugly parts feel less impossible.”
I know what she’s saying. Cash—and even her family—don’t always let her feel seen or heard.
But I do.
I always will.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Cash ruins the moment.
“You wouldn’t get it,” I say without looking at him.
“But you do?” Ingrid asks quietly.
