I nodded and cleared my throat. I’d never intended to declare my love publicly. And yet, apparently, the situation demanded it. “I love you too, Cole. You know that.”
Rowan looked between us, her amusement fading and her gaze sobering. “Wow, this is not what I expected with you, Adele. You’ve always been so?—”
“I might’ve been a little independent,” I said carefully.
She burst out laughing. “You?” she said once her laughter died down. She turned to Cole. “She’s insanely independent. It’s something, all right.”
Cole caught my eyes before he leaned down and gave me a fierce kiss. “I’m gonna take a hallway walk. You two talk.” Haven stood and followed him out with a wave as the door swung shut behind them.
A moment later, it was just me and Rowan. I let out a sigh. “Why does the hospital feel so familiar?” I asked, dryly.
“Well, it does to me,” she said, sitting on the edge of the bed and placing a hand lightly on my calf. “I work in them every day.”
A few beats of silence stretched between us.
“Tell me why you became a cardiac surgeon. I really want to know.”
Rowan’s gaze softened, sadness drifting in the shadows. “Because I was always worried about you. I guess, subconsciously, I thought if I became the kind of surgeon you needed, I could fix you—your heart—if you ever needed someone again. I remember you had to travel away when you were little, because there wasn’t a cardiac surgeon in Fairbanks.”
My throat tightened. My memories of my surgeries were vague, punctuated with more sensation than clarity. “Maybe not when I was little,” I whispered. I took a steadying breath. “Are you glad you did it?” I asked. “Because you won’t even be my doctor.”
She chuckled softly. “I know.”
“Do you actually like your job?” I asked.
“Yes, I do. I love it,” Rowan replied. “For the win,” she added with a little eye roll. “Iamglad. Maybe I can’t fix your heart, but it helps me to feel like I can do it for other people. And say we end up in a dystopian world and you need a doctor—I couldtotallytake care of you.”
We burst out laughing. “I don’t think I need surgery again,” I said after catching my breath.
She shook her head. “You don’t. But here and there, things might get out of whack. Say, when you fall in love, it might set you up for a few panic attacks. But tell me what happened with Cole. I feel like I’m missing a big piece of this story.”
I let out a sigh and quickly filled her in on the events in Katmai.
“Oh, Adele. Why didn’t you tell me when that happened?”
I shrugged. “Because stuff like that happens every day. It’s the world we live in. And nothingactuallyhappened. I mean, he tried, and I kicked him in the balls. Twice.”
We laughed for a minute, but her gaze sobered. “You aresucha badass.”
“I am?”
“Hell, yeah! Of course you’re going to fight. Everything you went through shaped you into who you are today. You want so badly to be independent.”
“I do. I am.”
“I know you are. I feel like we went in opposite directions.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, you want to hike every mountain and never go to the hospital again. I want to be in the hospital all the time and make sure no one else has to go through what you did. It’s not like I want to be in a city. It’s that my job necessitates it, if I want to be a specialist and an expert.”
“I get that. As cities go, Anchorage is pretty awesome,” I offered.
“It is. And now we’re kind of near each other.Ifyou stay in one place,” she teased, tilting her head to the side. “So, finish the story on you and Cole. Because I know you and I think you’re glossing over things.”
“He was hurt because I didn’t tell him the whole story about the guy. Then, I felt bad. I don’t know—I just didn’t handle it well. Then, I didn’t want to tell him what was happening when I sensed my heart rhythm getting out of whack because I was panicking that it meant I’d have to come to the hospital. He came over to check on me, and now I’m here.”
“You’re going to be okay. Yes, you need to stay on top of things, but you’re going to be fine. Youarefine.”
