Whenever I contemplated my dismal dating life, I tried to remember that thing in elementary school about bucket-filling, that you tried to fill your bucket with good things. I told myself I had lots of good things in my life. Until the money started dryingup from my sponsorships. I really needed to land on my feet with this move home.
“That pizza was really good,” I commented.
He finished a swallow of water before replying, “Damn good.”
“Alpenglow Pizza.” I read the name on the box aloud.
“I see you still read labels all the time,” he teased lightly.
My cheeks got hot as I rolled my eyes. “Old habits die hard and all that.”
Lyle used to tease me relentlessly about that habit, which was probably why Tate knew of it.
“Kara’s adorable, by the way. She seems like a great kid,” I offered.
He smiled at first, but his gaze sobered. “She’s better than great, and I hope I’m doing this dad thing okay. I’ve discovered that constantly questioning my parenting is a daily thing.”
“I’m sure you’re doing great. Really.”
Tate took a slow breath. “Let’s hope so. Anyway, catch me up to speed on your life.”
“I’m sure you’ve heard everything from my parents,” I replied.
“I know the outlines. You won a gold medal. That’s badass, by the way,” he said with an exaggerated brow waggle. “I know you had that injury, and I’m sorry.”
“Thanks,” I said quietly. “I had to kiss my professional skiing career goodbye. My sponsorships have mostly dried up, and it’s expensive to live in a Colorado ski town. I decided to move home because nothing was keeping me there.”
He nodded. “What’s going on personally? How do you feel about coming home?”
Maybe it should’ve felt harder to have these conversations, but Tate was easy to be with. He always had been. Although I had never beentherethere with him before. He was never one tohold a grudge or overreact to things. When I dated Lyle, the dark cloud would linger for days whenever we argued. With Tate, it was more like a cloud passing across the sun, and it was sunny again. Not that he and I had ever actually had an argument, but he and Kayla had, so I’d seen how it went.
Now that Lyle and Kayla were divorcing and it was messy, I couldn’t help but wonder if she regretted things. It wasn’t like I was under any illusions that Lyle and I would’ve stayed together. Statistically speaking, that would’ve been rare. In hindsight, we weren’t the best fit as a couple, and definitely not for the long haul.
There was a twist to being home that I hadn’t expected. On the one hand, it did bring up my issues around trust. Those insecurities rose like a big wave, but it crashed swiftly. Ihadalready moved past them, and I knew I was really over Lyle and Kayla. I would never want to be her best friend again, and I was relieved there was no nostalgia coming up around Lyle. I was okay.
It was good to spend time with Tate and realize the memories of our little quad in high school were just one part of our story. From a distance, the memories at the end of high school had crowded out the foundation of our friendship.
Unsettled though I was by the startling flare of chemistry with him, it was a relief to feel like the rest of the mess had washed away with time.
“Josie?” Tate prompted after a moment of silence stretched between us.
Rather than filling him in on the entirety of my thoughts, I shrugged. “Honestly, I feel pretty good about coming home. Oh, I won’t lie and pretend it was fun to injure myself badly enough that I don’t have a professional career in skiing anymore. I won an Olympic gold medal, which was more than I ever hoped for. It’s funny, though, how it seems like I’m always moving thegoalposts in my life. Hurting myself forced me to stop doing that, at least with skiing.”
Tate was watching me quietly. “Good thing to figure out,” he said after another moment.
“It’s hard not to miss Alaska. Colorado’s beautiful, but Alaska’s home for me. Always will be. Starting back at Firehouse Café will buy me some time to get settled again.”
“I’m not asking this to be nosy. I’m legitimately curious?—”
“Tate, I think that’s a nice way of being nosy,” I teased.
He chuckled. “I’m just trying to figure out your situation. You had some sponsorships before you got injured. I know things don’t last forever, and skiing isn’t a huge sport, but are you stressed financially?”
I took a swallow of water. “Sponsorship money only lasts so long. I’ve been living in a really expensive area. All the things that go along with skiing at that level are expensive. At first, after I got hurt, I didn’t want to rule out making a comeback, so I busted my butt with physical therapy and training. My knee is as good as it’s going to get, but I couldn’t beat the stiffness that developed, and I never got my speed back. It wasn’t cheap to keep training at that level, so what little cushion I had is gone. I’m not flat broke, but I need some time to come up with a plan that makes sense in the long term. I had started to do some online work, website building, and so on, but I need some time to get situated here. It’ll be great to be at Firehouse Café. I love Janet.”
Tate tipped his head to the side. “You don’t need to pay rent, Josie.”
I narrowed my eyes. “Tate, I’m not broke. I just told you that.”
“Josie, I’m not even actually renting the place yet.”
“I’m paying rent,” I ground out.
He leaned back in his chair, lifting both hands in surrender. “Okay, fine,” he said with an eye roll.
When our eyes met, the air felt lit with a charge, the force of chemistry building between us.
