He shrugged."There are some women who always hang around the bars near base.They're into men in the military, want to take you home and show you a good time."He flinched again as lightning cracked nearby.
"And do you go?"
He leveled haunted blue eyes at her."Sometimes.When you're on leave for a short time and haven't had anything soft and welcoming for months on end… Yeah, sometimes you take what's offered.Depends on the woman and the situation."
When a lightning strike landed close to the cottage, they both jumped.Her heart pounded.She didn't mind storms, but that had been a massive bolt.Sweat beaded on Ian's forehead, dampening his hairline.As he swallowed, she could see his pulse through the vein in his neck.He was terrified.And it didn't take a genius to figure out why.Those sounds brought back enough horrific memories to last a lifetime, she was sure.Her heart gave a painful squeeze.This big, solid man had demons, ones he was trying like hell to fight.
"No serious relationships since getting out?"she asked, trying to keep the conversation going, hoping it would help.
"No time," he said."I inherited the estate right after."
"It's a lot of work, what you're doing.A big place to run.The guest house, the farm, the cottages… You must really love it here."
He nodded."Everyone back home, except my mother, thinks we're crazy for not selling.My brothers and I have a lot of good memories here, our roots are here too.Someday I want my kids to have their own memories here like I did.I want others to come," he continued, "to unwind and find a little peace, you know?That's one of the reasons I wanted Dev to come and work on the cottages."
"He was in the military too."
"Yeah.We saw a lot of shit, lost friends," he shook his head, unable to find the words to go on."This place, the land, I want it to help him like it's helped me.It'll help Jamie too when he's ready to leave."
Lucy wasn't cold, but she shivered anyway and rubbed her arms, knowing he'd notice, knowing he'd be the kind of guy to care.
"Cold?"
She nodded.She wasn't really, but something inside her wanted to be closer, to hold him, to give him comfort and someone to hold on to.
He patted the mattress beside him."Come here."
Lucy scooted over and snuggled against his warm body as he drew the blanket around them, holding him tightly and hoping it eased his anxiety.His heart hammered and every time a loud thunder clap or lighting strike came, he held her a bit tighter and told her it was okay, that it'd be over soon.
Ian MacLaren was a good guy, the complete package.And it terrified her.
As the storm drifted away, she relaxed.She was close to Ian's neck and could smell the scent of his skin.She breathed in deeply, thinking she could definitely get used to this.
God, I could get used to this,Ian thought, resting his chin on the top of Lucy's head.
He was exhausted, the storm zapping his strength.Annoyance went through him at his reaction.It was just a damn storm.
And yet, it wasn't.
Any loud bang or crash caused his blood pressure to soar, his hands to tremble, and his adrenaline to go haywire.He hated the feeling.The sudden punch of panic.The cold sweats.But he dealt with it, just like everything else.Only this time, holding Lucy, her holding on to him, blunted the sharper edges and made him feel grounded, kept him in the present.He knew he was in Scotland.He knew he was here in this room, and not back there, in a sand-colored hell.The memories were there, the images replaying in his mind, but the smells, the smoke in his nose, the tang of blood, the hot metal, they were faint this time, overrun by a woman's warm breath against his neck and the feel of her in his arms.
The only thing that remained of the storm now was the far off thunder and the soft drizzle on the roof.They'd have to leave soon.But not yet.He eased against the wall, pulling Lucy more tightly against him.
The wisest thing would be to head back to the Rover.He had too much going on right now, too many responsibilities to start something with a woman who was only here for a week.
She snuggled closer.Her breasts pressed against his rib cage.
Screw wise.
This felt too good and too right.It had been a long time since he felt content like this.He hadn't thought he'd relate to her in any way or so quickly, but he had.She'd swept into his life like a hell-raising wind.And damned if he didn't end up liking it.
Ian could tell Lucy felt awkward when she woke in his arms.She moved away, gave him a quick, uncomfortable smile, got up and went for her shoes.He rose and saw to the fire, making sure it was completely out, then slipped on his boots and led them back to the Rover.
The ride home was slow and quiet, every creak and engine sound loud in the vehicle's cabin.As the house came into view, Lucy let out a low, even exhale.
"I'll tell Fran and Hamish," she said."Explain to them what happened with Riley."She worked her bottom lip, thinking the worst.She turned in her seat to stare at Ian's profile."I meant what I said.Riley is the best writer out there.I know she can take my notes, my photos, my experience here, and turn it into something amazing."And then her look turned sobering."Unless you want me to go… Which is fine.I'd totally understand."But it wasn't fine.He could hear the false lightness to her voice.It wasn't fine with him either.In fact the whole idea made his stomach a little sour.
He kept his eyes on the road, considering her words for a while before slowing to a stop.He stared out the window for a long moment, and then faced her."You should stay… Stick to the plan."It confounded him that he cared."I'll show you around the estate this week," he rubbed a hand down the stubble on his jaw, trying to think clearly, "the activities, the village.It'll be fine."
