“He says, while everyone in this room knows he's lying.” That was Benny, and I could hear him moving around near his stall. “Cap's allowed to have an off day. Just pick a better time next time, yeah? Like maybe during summer break instead of playoff prep.”
“Noted,” I said. “I'll schedule my personal crises more thoughtfully.”
“That's all we ask,” Jace said, and I could hear the smile in his voice. “Well, that and for you to stop playing like you've never seen a hockey stick before.”
“Fucking hell, I had one bad practice?—”
“One very bad practice,” Finn corrected helpfully.
“—and now you're all acting like I forgot how to skate.”
“If the skate fits,” Dmitri said sagely.
I turned on the shower and let the hot water hit my shoulders, trying to ignore the fact that half the team was probably still listening.
“I'm getting new teammates,” I called out. “All of you are fired.”
“You cannot fire us,” Dmitri pointed out. “You are captain, not owner.”
“Then I'm buying the team just so I can fire you.”
“With what money?” Finn asked. “You spent it all on whatever's got you checking your phone every five seconds.”
The comment hit closer than I wanted it to, and I felt my jaw tighten. But before I could respond, Jace's voice cut in smooth and casual. “Alright, that's enough. Give the man some room to breathe.”
“Fine, fine.” Finn held up his hands in surrender. “But seriously Rook, whatever's going on, we've got your back. Just maybe also get your head back in the game before Coach benches your ass.”
“Coach isn't going to bench me.”
“Coach benched Hartley last time,” Tate pointed out. “And Hartley's sleeping with him. You think you're special?”
“That's different?—”
“Is it though?”
I turned off the shower, dried off, and pulled on my street clothes, letting the conversation flow around me as the locker room slowly emptied out. They were right. Coach had given me apass today, but if I kept playing like this, captain or not, I'd find myself watching from the bench. And the team deserved better than a captain who couldn't keep his head in the game because he was too busy obsessing over a text that might never come.
“Alright,” I said, grabbing my gear bag. “I get it. I'll get my shit together.”
“Good,” Finn said cheerfully. “Because I was running out of creative ways to roast you and I really didn't want to start recycling material.”
“Your material was never good to begin with.”
“Take that back.”
“No.”
“Rook, I swear to god?—”
I walked out of the locker room grinning, leaving Finn shouting half-hearted threats behind me. The chirping had helped, honestly. Reminded me that I had a team counting on me, brothers who'd call me out when I was being an idiot but also had my back when it mattered.
I just needed to figure out how to stop checking my phone long enough to be the captain they deserved.
I ended up at my parents'house instead of going home, partly because I didn't want to sit alone in my place with nothing to do except stare at my phone, and partly because being around them always made me feel steadier even when I was falling apart.
Their house was about twenty minutes from the training facility, a two-story place in a nice neighbourhood with a yard my mom had turned into a garden that looked like it belonged in a magazine. I pulled into the driveway and sat there for a minute,trying to get my head together before I walked inside and had to pretend everything was normal.
My mom must have seen me pull up because the front door opened before I'd even made it halfway up the walk. “Rowan! I didn't know you were coming by today.”
