“What stalker are you talking about?” I know damn well who he’s talking about.
“Ben-Geeee,” he says, drawing the name out. I can hear the big grin in his voice.
“Why are you saying his name like that?” I ask.
“Like what?”
“Drawing it out in a deep Southern drawl.Ben...Geeeeee.”
“Just messing with you to see if you’d get defensive about it. And you did. You fell right into that.”
“He’s not a stalker.”
“Oh, really? You sure about that? He’s a stranger who drives four hours round trip to lurk behind an aquarium. That’s stalker territory in most jurisdictions. Tell me I’m right.”
“I’m a cop. I know what stalker territory looks like. This isn’t it.”
“Then what is it?”
Tex is asking me a real question underneath the joke. I don’t have an answer. I know what Benji says, that he feels responsible, that he can’t walk away from what happened. I heard every word he said through his tears and it was one of the most honest speeches anyone has ever given me.
I believe him and I still don’t fully understand why he keeps coming back. Guilt sends a card and a vase of flowers and moves on.
“I don’t know what it is,” I say. “He feels guilty. He was there that night. He watched me get shot.”
“I get the guilt,” he says. “I do because I feel guilty too. But Mickey, this guy doesn’t know you. He doesn’t know us. And he’s showing up every day like he’s on the volunteer visitor rotation set up by the local church ladies. Oh no, wait a minute...he’s not laying hands on you and trying to heal you, is he?”
“No, he shows up with pizza. And good coffee. That’s it.”
“He’s bringing food now? Don’t you think it’s a little...”
“What? Weird?”
“No, I was going to say unusual. Stormy says I’m not allowed to call it weird because Stormy likes him. He gave him a hug at the hospital. You know how big a deal that is.”
I do. Stormy doesn’t touch people. For Stormy to do that means he saw something in Benji that he trusts, and Stormy’s judgment about people is better than anyone’s I know. Stormy learned to read people the hard way.
“What’s your point, Tex? Should I tell Benji to get lost? To stop coming?”
“Hell no,” Tex says. “That’s not what I meant and you know it. Why are you getting defensive? You’re touchy about him.”
“I’m not. You’re the one who told me to let him come in if he knocked on the door. Remember?”
“Yes, because hospital hours are very long. So, is he coming today or not?”
“Probably,” I say.
Tex bursts out laughing. “I knew it. When he gets there put your cop face on and ask questions. Find out why he keeps coming around. There must be a good reason.”
“Why the fuck does it matter? I’m lying here flat on my back with nothing to do and nobody to talk to. The TV only gets a few channels and they suck. All I have is my phone to entertain me. Does it really matter why he keeps showing up with food and coffee?”
“Nope, it doesn’t,” he says. “I’m just being nosy and want to know what’s going on. That’s all. Besides Sheila wants to know too. She told me to ask you about him.”
“You tell Sheila that if she wants to know something, she can ask me herself.”
Tex chuckles. “Oh yeah, I’ll do that for sure. In fact, I’m looking at her right now across the bar. I’m going over to tell her what you said and hand her the phone. Hang on. I’m walking now. Here we go. Getting closer.”
“Tex! Dammit! Don’t go get Sheila riled up! Tex! Stop, right now. You know, I was kidding. I don’t have the energy to be grilled by Sheila.”
