Perfect kissing height.
If that’s something we ever want to do...
“All guys want sexual relationships along with the grunt work of childcare and housework. I don’t blame them. Women do, too. I didn’t mean humans and krakens. I meant you and me. Wedon’t know ifwe’reeven compatible, so why would you want to stick around?”
Mercer looks like I just pulled a grenade launcher out of my pocket. I don’t think he could look more shocked if he tried, with his jaw hanging low and his lips moving soundlessly, trying to form words. For a second, I actually wonder if someone’s eyes can pop out of their head.
I continue hastily, holding up a hand to stop him when he opens his mouth. “But if you’re not so worried about that and you’re just thinking about the practical aspects of biology... Well, I mean, there are some guys who are born to be family men. And I don’t want to sound ungrateful, but that was Eli’s mistake. He told me I was nothing but a mother when my attention shifted to Zack, when my body changed, when I grew away from him. To be fair,” I sigh and put my fingers to my temples and rub away the stress headache that’s forming, “we didn’t grow apart. I waspushedaway by insults about my body, by Eli’s frustration that I couldn’t just fling myself into make-up sex to heal months of cold silences and fights about parenting. I couldn’t force my body back into perfect form while nursing a new baby and healing after a long, rough labor. And... And I don’t even know why I’m rehashing all this right now.”
Mercer’s face has lost its shocked look and is still and smooth. Placid like the lake on a windless day. “Because you trust me, and you know that you and Zack are wanted. I don’t see you as just a mom or just a sexual being. You are a whole person, and I am not worried about compatibility between you and me.” Mercer’s hands slowly rise from his sides and come to rest along the sides of my neck. His strong thumbs stroke along my jaw, and my head instinctively turns upward.
“You’re not?”
“No. You said you didn’t want to be intimate with anyone for a long time, but that didn’t bother me.”
“It didn’t?”I said that? Wait, yes, I said that, but this time with Mercer, even though it’s been short, seems like a long time.
“Not in the least. When someone is important to you, you take time to learn to be compatible. I’m sure the thought of tentacles is off-putting to many women, for example.”
I shake my head. “Not this woman. But a post-partum body that never bounced back? Stretch marks and saggy spots? Men don’t like that.”
“Not this man. He would dearly love to be allowed access to all the sacred parts of you that bear battle scars from making new life. This body grew Zack.” He smiles and gestures to all of me with a tender gleam in his eyes. “I cannot help but love every inch of it,” he whispers, leaning closer.
“And your tentacles saved his life. How could I be anything but grateful for them?” I breathe out as his lips move so close that I can almost feel them.
“If you would ever let me, I would show you more reasons to admire them.”
X-rated thoughts tumble through my brain as our mouths fuse. Standing on a quiet street in suburbia, all I can think about is how a kraken might use his tentacles in the bedroom. I can already picture him wrapping me up in them, pinning my wrists and ankles down while he pleasures me.
But it’s one thing to say these things, and another thing to mean them. What if those noble intentions slide away when he sees me naked?
And do I even want to get into a physical relationship right now?
“What? What’s wrong?” Mercer pants, breaking off our kiss.
“I get lost in my head too easily. I have trouble trusting people,” I explain. Might as well be honest, it’s not like he can’t tell.
“I don't blame you. Did you see that Samantha, the other lifeguard who is often paired with me, has a new boyfriend?”
“The guy who sits right next to the lifeguard stand?” I blink, confused as to why we’re now discussing local gossip.
“Yes. A little over two weeks ago, she was bereft when her college boyfriend broke things off with her. Humans seem so fickle. I don’t trust them, either.”
“But you’re not a human. Are you saying you don’t have any fickleness in you?” I ask, trying to keep my tone light. “Isficklenesseven a word?”
“Mmm, no,” Mercer pretends to look thoughtful, scratching his chin. It’s one of the things I am falling for with this guy. I see him act serious and imposing one second, and then he lets his guard down and acts silly the next—but I’ve noticed that sweet, silly side only ever comes out around Zack and me. “I think it may be a word, and yes, I may be fickle about some things—but not about you and Zack. Nor am I impatient to have the ‘physical’ things that you seem afraid of.”
“I’m not afraid! I’m just worried. There’s a difference,” I say with a defiant little sniff.
“Then I want to make it so you are not worried. What can I do?”
What can he do?
He’s done it. He’s doing it.“Keep being around. Keep being awesome and kind.” I swallow. I don’t want this to be one-sided. Eli was the selfish one in the last relationship, and I’m worried I’m taking that role now. “What canIdo?”
“For me? You do it! You let me spend time with you and Zack!”
“Oh yes, and during that time you babysit and help around the house. That’s not enough.”
