I want to argue, but she’s right. “It felt like I could see my life spreading out, in just those few seconds. Not like seeing the future, or anything, but it just felt right. The little boy against my shoulder, and her kissing me—and he kissed me on the chin, andoh, by Poseidon... I felt like everything inside of me turned to hot chocolate.”
“You’ve had hot chocolate?” Janet sounds surprised (and I can’t blame her, it’s not usually on the aquatic menu).
“Once, and it’s amazing. Not more amazing than this, though. It was like something ancient and magical was speaking to me. Sons and mates. Wife and children. They’re the true treasures.”
“Well, I can’t argue with that,” Calder says, voice ringing with pride. I know he’s holding Janet close, probably thinking about their children.
“I’m giving Zack swimming lessons. We touched today, Madelyn and I, just in passing, nothing romantic—and suddenly I had visions of us in the future. Just one, but it was... oh, such a proud, happy moment.” I don’t share the details. They’re too precious. I want to hold onto them, keep that feeling of holding my wife’s hand and watching our oldest son walk across that stage, our boy, so grown up...
I shake myself. The other reason I don’t want to tell them about it is because I know it may never come to pass. I’m not used to living among humans, and certainly not used to wooing them. My knowledge about human society isn’t exactly lacking; it’s just that it’s always been more a matter of theory than of practice, and for all the ways humans and krakens are similar, sometimes I worry that the way we live and love is too different.
“Is there more?” Calder prompts gently. “You kinda stopped talking.”
“Sorry. Lost in thought. I feel as though Madelyn and Zack are meant to be mine. I know some ancient tales say that we will know our mate at once—and yet we’ve also slept with everything with sentience!”
Janet lets out a panicked-sounding squawk.
“Not Calder and me personally! Krakens of old. Old-old-old. I mean, look at Zeus. No, don’t look at Zeus, that guy is messed up. The point is, krakens were a lusty bunch.” I wince and hope Calder isn’t too mad at me for alarming his wife.
To my surprise, Janet’s voice is smooth, almost a purr now. “Well, the lusty part is still true. It just seems to be reserved for the right woman. By the way, I knew Calder was mine almost immediately. I was equal parts freaked out and turned on.”
“Only part of that is comforting.” I massage the back of my neck. Who knew finding love was so stressful?
“You take things like love seriously. You sound like you’re already falling for both of them, and to a single mom, that’s a big deal. Talk to her about what she wants and needs. Yes, you. Talking. Lots of it,” Calder urges. “I know that probably sounds scary, but—”
Oddly enough, it doesn’t. “I wish I could talk to Madelyn for hours and hours,” I confess. “There’s so much I want to know about her. I have so many questions. No, talking won’t be a problem.”
There’s silence on the other end of the call. “Um. Did I lose you?” I tap the phone.
“Youwantto talk to someone? For hours and hours? Oh, yes. This is the one. Can you please have the wedding in New York so I don’t have to travel so far with the boys?”
I roll my eyes at Calder’s teasing. “I’ll see what I can do.”
Lemon. Herbs. Butter. Potatoes. Asparagus. One of the cooking magazines at the checkout that promises “Easy Recipes Tonight!”
Damn it. Dessert. And a frozen pot pie for Zack? Maybe he likes that just fine, but what else can I do to show him that Ithink of him, that I want to make him happy? That he matters as much to me as his mother does?
My son.
No. Don’t let yourself hope.
Well, not yet.
Maybe.
One day.
Damn it.
I abandon the checkout. Back through the aisles, the linoleum of the market floor feeling cold and strange under my tentacles.
What do almost-three-year-olds like to eat? Is there some generic map of childhood preferences by age?
I’m so lost in thought and worrying about when the market closes, that I don’t look where I’m going when I turn the corner and feel my metal shopping cart collide with something else metal.
Another cart.
Pushed by a woman in a t-shirt that pulls tight over her ample breasts, bike shorts that show off just how many delectable curves she has below the waist, and a sleepy bundle wrapped around her while she pushes her car with one hand.
