“What are you talking about?”
“The store has cameras, you know.” She closes her bag. “Sometimes I like to watch.”
I scream. Literally stand and scream and walk out of the room and back in. “You what? You watch me?”
“It’s fun for me. Have lunch, pull up the cameras…”
“GRANDMA!”
“What? Don’t hate me for it.” She shrugs. “I could be watching a soap opera, but instead, I watch you. And yes, I’ve seen you pull that ring of yours out of the safe over and over again for a couple months now. When will you stop torturing yourself?”
She watches me for a long moment, like she’s deciding how much to say.
“You’ve had a different set of circumstances, Vivian,” she says finally, voice gentle but steady. “Your mother made a choice. She took a job, followed a life that didn’t leave room for what you needed.”
I shift slightly, fingers tightening around my phone.
“And at a certain point,” she continues, “you became mine, and I am so glad you did, because I don’t feel like I got one daughter. I feel like I got two.”
Something in my chest hitches at that, warm and a little achy all at once. She reaches over, patting my knee.
“But it also means you learned to hold on to things. Tightly. Maybe a little too tightly,” she says. “To make sense of them. To keep them close so they couldn’t surprise you again. Maybe to show up, so things won’t suddenly disappear?”
I glance down, already knowing where she’s going.
“That ring meant something once,” she says. “And it’s okay that it did.”
I nod faintly. “It did.”
“But you’re not there anymore,” she adds, her tone shifting just enough to ground it. “And holding on to what it used to mean isn’t going to change anything now.”
“I know,” I say quietly as I let out a slow breath. “It’s not like I’m still in love with him or anything.”
“I know you’re not,” she says easily. “That’s not what this is.”
I look up.
“You have to stay open, keep your heart open,” she continues. “Open to something new. Something that might not look the way you thought it would.”
Her words settle over me as right then, my phone buzzes in my hand.
Her eyes flick down immediately, a knowing smile tugging at her mouth. “Is that a text from your boy?”
I glance up.
“Man,” she corrects herself, not even trying to hide the grin.
I smile as I sneak a peek at the screen. “It’s Ty.”
She leans back slightly, satisfied. “Okay. So I want you to focus on that.”
“On him?” I ask, half teasing.
“Onyou,” she corrects gently. “And whatever this is that’s starting. Don’t shut it down in your mind before it even has a chance to be something.”
I go quiet at that. It’s not something I thought I was doing, but it is something I can see myself headed toward. Find the hole. Poke at it to see the weakness is there.
She studies me, softer now. “You’re doing amazing, you know.”
