Cato snatches my phone and jams his thumb against the red icon, killing our call. “Oh dear. Oh no.” He slams it down again and snarls. “Bad reception.”
“Dammit, Cato!”
“Auntie Minka,” Mia scolds. “Don’t be mean to him.”
“You are a married woman!” He bounds off the counter and stands over me, his impressive basketballer height making it so he can fold his neck and burn the top of my head with his stare. “I have no fuckin’ clue what has come over you, Chief, but as far as I’m concerned, if you’re married tooneMalone, you’re married to all of us, and since you’remywife when Archer isn’t in the room, I’m saying hell-the-fuck-no to this week of madness. I can bear witness and tell the jury you’ve lost your damn mind, but when the judge steps forward, as in,Archer, I’m not sure pleading insanity will help your case.”
“I’m notactuallygonna date the dude!” I grab my phone and shove my palm to Cato’s jugular, but instead of calling Mihalisback, I call Soph. Bringing the device to my ear, I push myhusbandback and circle him to the fridge.
“Yeah,” Soph answers on the fly, gunshots ringing out on her end of the line. “Hang on a sec. I’ll find somewhere quieter.”
“Did you catch all that?” I tear the fridge open and snatch out a yogurt pouch, the exact flavor I prefer, and pretend I don’t know it was Archer who put them there. If I think about things too deeply, I’ll be forced to acknowledge my grocery fairy, and if I do that, I might lose my resolve not to call myactualhusband before tonight is done. “Mihalisbailed on me. Said he’s got something better to do.”
“Yeah, I heard.” She steps through a doorway, closing it and locking the rumble of gunfire on the other side. “I’m gonna dig a little deeper and see what his comms look like, but things are starting to get a little weird.”
“Weird, because Abate bailed on me last night, and Mihalisis bailing tonight?” I select a second yogurt pouch—one for me, and one for Mia—then I slam the fridge and head around to the couch. “I know I’m old and married now, but I didn’t think I’d lose street appeal before I even turned thirty.” Stopping in front of Mia, I show her both pouches and let her choose.They’re both the same flavor.
Her eyes gleefully dance as she whispers a sweet, “Thank you.”
“Welcome, cutie pie. Soph?”
“No. Weird, because Mihalisis using some kind of encryption on his emails. He’s a schoolteacher, and his experience with tech extends only as far as his internet security subscription when they deduct nine-ninety-five from his bank account each month.”
“So…” I plop onto the couch and feel, in this moment, at least, immense peace as Mia climbs up beside me and curls against my ribs. “I don’t understand.”
“It means he has more tech expertise than I gave him credit for. Or he’s communicating with people with tech expertise.”
“You can’t break the encryption?”
She scoffs. “I can. I will. These things take a minute, but the fact that it’s there is giving me pause. It’s like walking around the five-dollar store and finding a genuine Hermès bag sitting on the shelf. Some might consider it a bargain. I wouldn’t touch it without first considering it a trap. I’m running his techthrough my software first to make sure I don’t inadvertently screw myself over by moving too fast. Once I know it’s clean, I’ll dig a little deeper.”
“So I’ll just…” I set my yogurt pouch down and take Mia’s, opening the cap and handing it back with a wink. Then I open mine and suck the thick innards onto my tongue. “Sit here and watch Baywatch or something? I had plans two nights in a row, and neither has worked out.”
“Sit pretty. Maybe apply a moisturizing mask or something. If it’s your face making these men cancel, then that’s something you need to work on.”
“Shut the hell up!” I draw my feet up onto the couch and meet Mia’s displeased eyes, her heated stare.Because I told someone to shut up. “It’s not my face. I’m stressed this week, so maybe they feel the anger pulsing in my blood.”
Soph snorts. “But you got that sweet as a button Mia Fletcher in-house tonight. That’s a fun distraction.”
“Mm. I suppose.” I curl a lock of her hair around my finger and smile for the girl who would rather stare at me instead of the cartoons on the television. “It’s no hardship, that’s for sure.”
“And it’s infusion night. You should take the pill, Mayet. Jen’s feelings are getting hurt because she was assured you would trial the M&Ms, and now you’re dragging your feet.”
“I never told her I would trial them.” I tickle the side of Mia’s neck and earn a tinkling giggle from the depths of her chest. “Jen’s feelings are for Jen to manage. And since you’re the troll telling her I was willing to take them in the first place, then her feelings are foryouto manage, too.”
“You shouldn’t call anyone a troll, Auntie Minka.” Mia grinsaround the tube of her yogurt, her little baby teeth glistening in the light above. “Name-calling is not nice.”
“Exactly, Auntie Minka. Name-calling is rotten and mean,” Soph quips. “Oh! And I forgot to say, I pulled a flight manifesto earlier. Dirkse boarded a private jet a few hours ago. He’s headed your way.”
“Really? I thought you said he was coming next week?”
She makes a sound in the back of her throat, an audible shrug. “Plans changed, maybe. I’ll keep an eye on it and let you know when to engage. The good news is, you seem quite comfortable with the ditsy dumb bitch act. Men who hate womenlovewhen a woman is stupider than he is. Makes him feel powerful.”
“Mm.” I cast my eyes to a cartoon brimming with… koalas? “Mostmen hate women. Most of them are gross.”
“I’m not sorry I bagged mine and tied him down already. Though I suggest Detective Malone would bescandalizedif he saw his intelligent and always-professional Chief Medical Examiner Minka Mayet giggling and leading with her tits.”
“Good thing Detective Malone will never see such a thing. His snitches, though—” I glance over my shoulder at Cato by the counter, and Harrison by the door. At least the latter has the common decency to spin away again and pretend he’s not listening to my phone call. “—Are becoming a problem. A woman can’t even casually date without them running back to the boss and whining about it.”
