“If he comes near you again, I’ll kill him.”
He didn’t mean it. Right? At least, I told myself he didn’t, but the look in his eyes said otherwise. There was no bluff in his voice. The air left my lungs.
“Your daddy is not a good guy, Mackenzie. But we just ignore the things he does. When the time comes, we’ll escape,”my Mom’s voice echoed in my head.
“Max… come on, I’m serious,” I laughed nervously. “You just can’t go around killing people. That’s insane. Jackson is… something is wrong with him.”
His eyes snapped to mine. He was hurt and furious.
“It’s not insane. When it comes to you? I’ll do whatever it takes. I…” He shook his head, closing his eyes and looking up at the sky. I didn’t say anything back. I mean, what would I say?
He picked up my hesitation and said, “You think I won’t end someone for putting their hands on you? For looking at you wrong? I’d fucking rip out my spine before I let anyone hurt you.”
I was seeing the man he was becoming. He was no longer the nerdy boy who liked archery bows and video games. He wasn’t the boy who tripped over his shoelaces and blushed when I caught him staring. That boy had grown up. He wasturning into a full-fledged protector before my eyes, territorial and possessive. And he definitely was not part of anygame.
A part of me craved it, this side of Max. I liked knowing that I could drag him into the dark with me, and instead of shrinking back, he’d bare his teeth and follow.
I wanted to tell him the truth. I knew now that he could handle it.
But I justcouldn’t.I hated having to keep it from him. I looked around us. We were standing in the middle of the field, no one around. Not even the trees. Were we being watched right now?
Maybe I could whisper it to him. I opened my mouth to tell him, but held it back.
“You don’t have to destroy yourself for me,” I whispered, stepping closer to him. “I like your spine.”
A small smile crept on his lips, and he said, “I’d do anything for you. You know that, right?”
I felt everything inside me start to unravel. The grief. The fear. The need. The truth I didn’t want to say out loud. But it lived in every look between us.
“You shouldn’t have to deal with this bullshit alone,” he added. “I’m here for you. With you. Whatever you need. I’m here.”
“I didn’t say I wanted to deal with it alone,” I said quietly. “I want to deal with it with you. I like doing this with you.”
His eyes searched mine, and he grabbed me by the waist.
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah.” I smiled.
“What else do you like doing with me?”
“Oh, I don’t know. We haven’t done it yet. But I think when we do, it will be my new favorite thing.”
He hesitated and then said, “I want you. Like, I really want you. For real.”
My father’s voice suddenly echoed in my head, “They’realways fucking watching, Emily! Always! You and Mackenzie will never be safe.”
I started to pull away. I couldn’t do this. I wanted it so badly, but now that he had said it, I was panicking. I was putting a target on his back. Nurse Campbell’s voice was in my head, Jackson’s words were in my head, and I was terrified of who was watching us.
My brain wasn’t in sync with my heart. I couldn’t get my stupid mouth to stop, and God damnit, I hated the look on his face right now as I pulled away.
“I can’t… Max, I’m sorry.”
He let go of me and took a few steps back. His reaction was not what I had expected.
“I’m tired of you playing with me, Trouble.”
“Max—I’m not. What’s wrong?”
