Okay. I burst out laughing because not only was this ridiculous, but I had also once been in a relationship with a man called Thomas Swain, who had no sense and would absolutely have put himself forward to try to bring me down. Any way he could. Because I was better than this, and he was petty and frankly…an idiot. A jealous one. Perhaps he had expected me to stand up to him, on that stupid holiday. Beg for him to take me back? Had that been his plan, bringing that twink along? I had to shake myself out of this, and I once again laughed out loud.
“I recently had a short break away on holiday with a group of friends. This group included my former partner, Mr Swain, as well as my current partner, Mr Fairweather. Some of you had the pleasure of meeting him when he visited last weekend, and I hope to see more of him this term.” Talking out of my arse, but whatever. Polite smile.
Baronetess Daniels took another sip of her tea.
“Never cared for Mr Swain,” she said, sucking on her teeth. “We care greatly about our reputation, Mr Riley.”
“So do I. And if you want to know why Mr Fairweather carried me back to my accommodation? I can assure you I was not drunk but had merely submitted myself to a moment of frivolity where I got my foot so burnt by the sun that I struggled to walk. Mr Fairweather, being the gentleman he is, carried me around for two days.” I smiled, like I’d told a hilarious story as Mr Gardiner Faulkner sucked on lemons. Literally. Was I getting away with this? I hoped so.
“I had concerns about appointing you,” he said, Mr Faulkner. Grey hair. Tartan suit. Thought himself above everyone in the room. Concerns? We were currently all overusing that word. “Your youth would always be an issue here, Riley. The board would have preferred a more experienced head with fewer episodes of, what did you call it? Frivolity.” Here we went again. I’d been here for ten years, and they were still moaning.
“I have concerns,” I said sternly. “We are running a school here, and we have one hundred boys who depend on our care and attention. That is what we promise them when they join us here at Kilmartin. We have boys in need of emotional care, around the clock. We have young men who need gentle guidance and others in need of a steady hand. I am spreading myself far too thinly at the moment, trying to accommodate everyone’s expectations to fulfil our promise to these boys, and I am incredibly grateful to our teachers and staff who are at hand twenty-four seven to ensure we do exactly that. We nurture. We support. And we care about these youngsters. We care. That is what my concern is here, that we are spending time discussing my recent holiday when we should be discussing appointing an additional school nurse and upping Mrs Thakur’s hours so we always have a dedicated councillor on site.”
I stared at Mr Faulkner. He stared back.
“You’re doing a stellar job of it as well,” he said, nodding. “That clears that up then. And what are your plans for this Mr Fairweather? I trust you will bring him in front of the board at some point?”
“Certainly.” I smiled. “I am hoping to accommodate him here with me later this year.”
“I see congratulations are in order?” Baronetess Daniels. I wasn’t sure of her mood today. “You have submitted the required paperwork. I see he’s a doctor. A fine man, I suppose?”
“The finest, Baronetess.”
“Riley, you’re a fine man yourself. I admit this board was very sceptical ten years ago, but you have to believe me when I say this. A man like you?”
“Yes?” Make this day over. Please. I felt like I was on trial here, with more abuse to come. Yes, I was gay. Yes, I was a young man. Too young for this role. Nobody had cared much for my previous choice of partner, and I agreed with them, wholeheartedly. But I’d been here ten years, and I thought by now I’d proven myself. Yet this was my life. Every meeting, they reminded me how inadequate I was for this role. Perhaps I should be used to it by now. Perhaps I never would be.
“We’ve never had a single headmaster here,” she droned on, picking up a crumb from the table and letting it drop onto the napkin by her cup. “We always accommodated the wife in tow. We adored Mrs Townshill. Mrs Carruthers before that. We have missed having a spouse around; it brings the place to life.”
“It does indeed.” Did it? Would it?
“I assume Mr Fairweather would like to engage in the school? Perhaps join our fundraising committee?”
Could I see Noah having tea with the local ladies down at Angus’ place, discussing bake sales and coffee mornings? Perhaps not.
“I’m sure he would be delighted to get involved.”
“Good. Then perhaps next month we will get to see Mr Fairweather. You understand there will be a short interview for us all to agree that he would be a suitable candidate to live here at Kilmartin.”
“He will be my husband.” Fucking hell.
“Well, I will be most disappointed if I don’t get an invite to the nuptials. Will you get married locally? Father McSloan does a splendid ceremony.”
“I’m not sure Father McSloan will be too thrilled to marry me and Noah.”
“He married Connie Talisker’s daughter. Lesbian. Lovely girl. Had a proper blessing and all.”
“Oh.” I was not…or… Oh gosh, I needed to talk to Noah. I needed him back here and most of all? I needed his voice. His hands on me. My head against his chest, and I needed to…stop muttering swearwords under my breath and take control. I was in charge here. And these people were driving me nuts. Enough.
“Noah is a gentle and kind person, and someone who makes me very happy.” Deep breath. I could do this. “I am very much looking forward to a private ceremony, and he is delighted to become a part of our community. Now. I believe we have the extension to the teacher accommodation block to discuss, as well as the extensive repairs needed to the chicken coop. We have an order of new laptops to approve, as well as Mr Yi’s request for another order of physical textbooks for the library.”
“Very well.” Mr Faulkner sighed. “And if I may add my congratulations as well.”
“Accepted,” I said sternly. “Now, Ms Blessing, if you wouldn’t mind talking us through the planning permission?”
Emma was laughing under her breath, and I suddenly wanted to remind her that we were not children.
Which we were because now I was laughing too.
