“No.” His voice was so tender that I cried even more. Sobbed into my hands as he tried to hug me, our plates clattering on the stupid tray between us.
“You’re right, you’re a bit of a mess,” he soothed.
“Says the guy who doesn’t want me either,” I howled. Fuck. I really was a child.
“Darling,” he said. He sounded just like his mother, which made me splutter out some ill-advised hysterics. A mess? Me? I was a disaster.
“You know what I’m going to do?” he said, pulling back and once again wiping down my face. Smoothing hair out of my face. Then gently tugging me closer and kissing me. All things I felt I didn’t deserve. All his kindness. All his gentle care.
“What?” I slobbered, picking up my napkin from the tray and blowing my nose. I might as well. I was disgusting. Awful. Stupid.
“I’m going to cut up your steak and feed it to you. One bite at a time. And all I want you to do is hold the wine glass.”
Yes. That was me laughing. But he did exactly that, poured me a glass of silky red, and placed it in my hand. Motioned for me to nudge up the bed so I could get comfortable against the pillows.
“Here,” he said, feeding me the first morsel of steak. Carefully dipped into whatever sauce he’d supplied. Spicy and rich against my tongue. “It goes really well with this wine.”
“You haven’t even tried it,” I snorted.
“I know my wines.” He winked. “Now let me tell you a story.”
I just chewed. Then he fed me another bite.
“I don’t hook up with people much because I don’t do well with it. Firstly, I don’t have much confidence in my abilities as a…” He grimaced out the word, “Lover. I’m often awkward, and you know what it’s like.”
“What?” He was actually telling me things, personal details. I wasn’t going to let him get away with just the basics here.
“You know. You connect with someone on an app and think you’re on the same track, and then you actually meet up in person and everything is off.”
“Awkward,” I agreed. Been there, done that. I nodded enthusiastically.
“It never ends well. I don’t expect it to ever do. Because…me.”
“You’re you. Have you any idea how easy you are to talk to?”
That made him pause. Pour himself a glass of wine. Then he took a quiet sip as I just watched him.
His handsome features. That absolute calm in him. I liked that. I was sure he had a feisty side as well, but for now I couldn’t imagine him being anything but this. Quiet. Calm. Handsome. Kind.
“I struggle with connecting with people.”
“No, you don’t. You connect with me fine.” I grinned, hoping he would see what I was trying to say.
“Maybe,” he agreed. Then he shoved another piece of steak in my mouth.
Chapter 11
Noah
The whole situation here was bizarre. But, and I had to almost pinch myself to get my head straight. Because there was something small, a vibe here, that I absolutely adored. The way we were interacting. How he let me…be me. Because I was doing all these things and I’d never realised how good it felt to actually…do them. To take care of someone, like he let me care for him. Not as a doctor. Not as a friend. Like he actually wanted me to be here and look after his needs and make him feel better about this whole mess we’d landed ourselves in.
I was in full agreement with the choice of words here. Mess. This was one hell of a one, and in my half-hearted defence of my behaviour here? I had no idea how to resolve this.
Instead, I kept feeding him, and he kept talking, and then he’d nod at me to take a sip out of my own glass and excitedly let our glasses clink. Then he’d almost blush. Like this was some kind of date when it clearly wasn’t.
The wine was okay. The steak, a little overdone, but I honestly didn’t care. I liked it. I liked it all. The way he was picking up chips with his fingers and popping them in his mouth, then picking up another one, dipping it in the sauce and making me eat it. Me licking his fingertips. The way he laughed. His fingers returning to remove a smudge of sauce from my cheek.
No table manners here, and he laughed again at the fresh stains on the sheets.
