Maybe, but I’ve fucked you, and I need to know if we have more than a sexual connection.
“Possibly. But it’s real. Are you gonna answer?”
“Part of my reason for being in this city is because of heartbreak, both in relationships and as a result of watching my mother’s failed relationships. But let me ask you this. What do you do when things stop feeling easy or exciting? Do you walk away, or do you dip your toe in new water?”
Pain radiates across my chest because I can’t help but wonder if that’s what led to Monika exploring other options. I thought things were great with us, and she never told me we had any issues. Being caught off guard by Monika’s actions, I didn’t have time to ask questions, and I didn’t want to. All that seemed reasonable to do was get out of town. I jerk when I feel Deshona’s hand wipe away the lone tear I didn’t realize slipped from my left eye.
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you. You don’t have to answer.” The plea, mixed with sympathy in her eyes, tightens my chest at the reality of my vulnerability.
“In relationships, I’m not the walk-away type. I’m a man who stands ten toes down for the woman I love. I’m willing to fight. But only if she’s willing to add skin in the game.”
“Me too. I don’t have an example when it comes to marriage. But I still want the fairy tale, you know? I still want a man to desire me as much as I desire him. I still want the butterflies whenever I look into his eyes.”
Deshona stops talking, and all I can do is nod in agreement. Gwen and Darren Dawson have always made me long for thewoman with whom I can spend forever with. I thought I had it, but as I sit beside Deshona and the air in the room shifts, I realize I should maybe be open to dating again. Hell, I might just be sitting next to the woman designed for me.
Saturday Night. . .
“Gotdamn.” My eyes stretch like one of those animated characters as Deshona enters the living room.
Fine ain’t got shit on Deshona’s tempting ass.
Deshona’s cheeks flash with a red hue as she struts toward me, and her perfume fills my nostrils, instantly hardening my dick. For a mothafucka I’m not supposed to care anything about, Deshona is about to force me to choke on the idea. She’s wearing a black dress that stops just below her knees. One side has a split that plays peekaboo with her brown skin. My eyes run over her body from head to toe before I take in her white painted toes in the black open-toe heels on her feet. Her hair hangs past her shoulders in crinkly waves. The light makeup on her face is subtle and only enhances her beauty. Deshona definitely matches my fly.
“You clean up very well . . . Turn around so I can see all of you.” She twirls her finger in a circle motion as a cocky smirk forms, and I do as instructed.
I know I look good, so if Deshona wants me to model for her, I’m happy to oblige. The all-black jacket, black dress shirt with the top two buttons undone, black slacks, and black dress shoes make me feel relaxed in the best way. My hair is braided, and although they need to be redone, I have them hanging.
“Can you braid?” I ask once I face Deshona again.
“Mhm. We probably should have established that days ago. But luckily for you, your hair doesn’t look busted. You must wrap it up, huh?”
“I do. Ma always said if I was gonna keep my hair long, I needed to learn how to maintain it.”
“Smart lady.”
I nod as I interlock our hands and head toward the front door before I lose my nerve or decide to see if Deshona has on thongs or regular panties underneath her dress.
“Just for tonight, can we be more than roommates?”
I have to fight the goofy smile that wants to break free and the drums in my chest that Deshona’s question causes once we’re inside the elevator. Her inquisitive eyes are on me, and I need to present a nonchalant exterior. But the truth is, the question has me wondering if Deshona’s feelings about me are changing. Tonight should be interesting.
Chapter 15
Deshona
Damn, maybe I shouldn’t have suggested that. He hasn’t said anything since. Me and my big mouth.
“So, you want tonight to be a date?”
My head shoots up from the elevator floor as Alijah smirks, his humor and intrigue-filled eyes focused on me.
Open mouth and insert foot, Deshona. We’re not supposed to be showing interest or suggestions about dating this or any other man. Remember your track record, girl.
“Don’t get quiet and shy on me now. We dating tonight or nah?”
“I uh—” I stall on how I want to answer Alijah’s question because denying that I’m attracted to him feels like a waste of time. The man has been sticking his dick in me, and I’ve been loving every minute of it. I sigh and say what’s on my mind. “Yes.”
There. I said it. Now what?
