Many voices suddenly called them to dinner from the balcony above, and the spell was broken.
But that delightful moment in the garden was rapidly shattered when she learned that the rest of the family had arrived half an hour late after Tom discovered a loose wheel. It became obvious—her uncle had arranged the meeting with Darcy, and her glance in his direction contained no gratitude.She briefly wondered whether Darcy had known of the scheme, but soon dismissed the idea. Thomas was far too cunning to involve him in such manoeuvres.
Then she witnessed the gentlemen's bows, which resembled a duel more than a polite greeting. Their rivalry displeased her. She had never desired to become the object of such a contest.
Nobody except Thomas noticed how distracted Elizabeth and Darcy remained afterwards. They scarcely looked at one another and spoke very little to anyone around them. Mr Kendall, seated opposite Elizabeth, tried repeatedly to attract her attention, whilst she continued eating with stubborn determination, her eyes fixed upon her plate.
By the end of dinner, her feelings had settled somewhat, yet she found herself returning to the same dilemma. Her heart beat for Mr Darcy, but was he the husband who could give her the life she desired? The ton she would be expected to entertain, the arrogance of his peers, and that somewhat futile existence amongst the ladies of his society disturbed her. She had always wished for a more meaningful way of living and had imagined true love as the means of attaining it. Then her thoughts wandered back to the garden and to Darcy's use of her Christian name. The interrupted question remained before her, though she made no attempt to answer it.
∞∞∞
“I need time,” Elizabeth declared to her aunt when the gentlemen had left the ladies alone.
“I cannot believe you keep saying that,” said Mrs Gardiner. “Are you in love?”
Elizabeth did not answer.
“Elizabeth, answer the question.”
“And if Mr Darcy is not my great love?”
“Love does not come in pounds like flour. It is like a cloud that surrounds you, like the air around us. You feel it with your heart…and with your body.”
She spoke reluctantly, though she felt gentler language would not serve. Elizabeth’s blush came so quickly that Mrs Gardiner could not mistake its meaning.
Elizabeth was in love. Mrs Gardiner felt certain. Yet the spirited young woman she knew so well had become uncertain of both her feelings and her future. Her sisters, even Mary, embraced their altered circumstances with enthusiasm. Elizabeth alone had become reflective, determined to plan every step of her life, as though the freedom granted by her uncle’s generosity imposed an obligation to use it wisely.
“You are beautiful, intelligent, and so well educated that I do not know another young lady like you. I expect you to reach for the stars, not settle for a modest life in a shabby little town. London is wonderful and offers far more opportunities than any other place in England…or Scotland,” she said, looking at her niece insistently. “I cannot understand how you can entertain such thoughts. I shall repeat what I have already told you. Mr Kendall is not the gentleman for you.”
“How can you say that? You have only met him twice.”
“It is enough to form my opinion. He is not at ease, either in the duchess’s house or in ours, though ours is much less grand and probably closer to what he has known at home.”
“Being poor is not a fault! And now I have a significant dowry. It is no longer important that I choose a husband who can save my family, as it once was,” said Elizabeth defiantly.
“Husband? Really, Lizzy!”
“Yes, husband. Mama has spent our entire lives teaching us to look upon every gentleman as a possible husband.”
“And since when do you take advice from your mother? Your mother has nothing to do with this. You are already considering him as a possible husband after only a few days’ acquaintance. Is that not true?” Mrs Gardiner made no attempt to conceal her dissatisfaction while Elizabeth hesitated to answer.
“So?” Mrs Gardiner pressed, determined to understand what was happening with her favourite niece.
“Marriage, no. Yet I have realised that living amongst people such as Lady Catherine and those we met at the theatre is not the future I desire.”
“You will not live near Lady Catherine. Besides, I imagine a husband and wife choose their circles together; they are not dictated by one alone.”
“Let us say that Mr Darcy does not like my family, and I do not like his. How do you solve that problem?”
“How can you say that he does not like your family? I have seen Mr Darcy with your father, Thomas Bennet, and even with my husband. He enjoys their company. They have gone fishing together, and Mr Darcy invited us to dinner.
“I did not like my mother-in-law at all. Your grandmother was not kind, and she considered her son the Prince of Wales. We met from time to time, and I tried to be polite, if never particularly warm. Mr Gardiner, however, never knew that.”
“I did not know either.”
“Yes, because family is, after all, your husband and children. The rest are relatives. But stop, Lizzy. Tell me what is truly happening. It seems to me that the duchess has influenced you in the worst possible way, entirely without intending it. If you follow the lesson of her own story, she would be the first to tell you to marry the man you love and allow nothing else to interfere. It is absurd to draw the opposite conclusion.”
“The opposite conclusion?”
