“I’m not.” Or, rather, I was but am no longer. Fuck him. I should’ve known that tongue was too talented to be anything but fictional.
“Oh, really? When was the last time a guy had you worked up like this? You want to know what I think? You want to be an independent woman, to do it all on your own, but maybe you finally met someone who lets you keep that part of yourself and it scares you. During his interview, Jamie never disclosed a romantic or sexual relationship with you. However, when your name was mentioned, his posture and microexpressions changed.”
“Yeah,” I scoff, “he’s probably remembering?—”
“I don’t want details.” Her brash tone gives me pause.
“Whatmicroexpressions?” I groan, but I have to know what I’m dealing with.
“It wasn’t like that. There was no ‘his eyes darkened’ or ‘his cock thickened in his pants’ sort of thing from books.” I can’t help but snort-laugh at her air quotes. “Not that I was looking at his crotch, but it was in his eyes. It was, I don’t know, admiration, I guess. You impress Jamie. Hell, you impress me every day, so I wasn’t surprised.”
“So, what am I supposed to do here?” But what I really want to ask is: how do I ensure I have a job when I return from maternity leave?
“I don’t know, Bree. You’ll need to figure that out. No matter what happened with the two of you, one thing has been clear since you left your asshole husband: you don't believe you actually deserve to be happy. Yes, you’re divorced, but you have no actual baggage. Stop acting like it. You’re the most brilliant woman—person, really—that I know, but you hold everyone at arm’s length. I don’t want to know what happened with you and Jamie at the summit, but whatever it was shook you enough to come in here demanding answers about a man you clearly have feelings for.”
“This isn’t about me, but if you suspected I slept with him, then why did you hire him?”
“He’s the right fit for the position. He’ll bring fresh ideas for outreach, and he helped Tracy and Ned make all of the negative press disappear in a blink of an eye when everything went down last month. It’s no wonder you like him.”
“I never said I like him.” I did… but there’s no coming back from this betrayal.
“You don’t have to, I can see it in your eyes. It’s the same look he had.”
Livy takes my hands and we breathe a collective sigh. She saw me through a brutal divorce and a few rounds of IVF—she’s a good friend, my best friend—but do good friends hire people they suspect fucked their Chief of Staff? Maybe Isaac was a steppingstone for Jamie, just as oblivious as I was. How did he charm his way into Olivia’s inner circle?
“I’m not saying he’s ‘the guy,’ but you deserve the kind of love I have with Isaac.” I scoff at her comparison. Isaac has always been in love with Olivia—for over fifteen years. Jamie isn’t remotely in the same league as Isaac when it comes to pining. “This baby you’re having, well, you’re going to love it as much as I love you. To be clear, that’s a fucking lot. But the love of a child isn’t the same as having someone to do life with. You’re going to be an amazing mom, but I want to see you twisted up like this more often. Maybe it’s time you open yourself up to more than one-night stands.”
“Why? Jamie is just like the guy I hooked up with in D.C. at President Taylor’s inauguration—another bartender one-night stand gone wrong. But this time it’s exponentially worse because said bartender now works for you. And there is no fucking way I’ll go on another horrible date with a guy I met online who is more concerned about his stock portfolio than making a woman come. I made my choice before we left for Canada. I’m better off alone.”
With how my hormones are out of control, I hate to admit that I’d give anything to have Jamie tongue-fuck my clit, pussy, andass until I can’t move for a week. Ever since I left Ottawa, no vibrator has been able to make me come as hard as he did. How the hell am I supposed to face him today when my pussy damn near flutters at the mere mention of him?
It doesn’t matter. Fuck him. I’ll just need to invest in better sex toys.
Livy sighs. “Seriously, I?—”
“No,” I growl and my tone surprises even me. “Not all men are like Isaac. I don’t want a guy who, in a few years, I’ll eventually resent and who will basically be a second child. I’ve done the whole Stepford wife thing.”
“No one is telling you to marry anyone; I just want you to be happy. But…” There’s a damn twinkle in her eyes, and my best friend has the worst poker face. It’s why everyone loves her and what makes her the best politician you could ever vote for—she could never lie without a tell. “If you’re so insistent that nothing emotional happened between you two, then why do you care that I hired Jamie?”
“Because you’re right,” I huff, then take a seat in one of the chairs in front of her desk, slumping into it. I hate to play the pity card, but this man is after my job and likely poisoned my best friend and her soon-to-be husband. “Is that what you want to hear? That I had an amazing week getting to know a man that I can never have because, news flash, he’s way too young for me. Oh, and I’m pregnant, so who wants to sign on for something like that? And don’t forget, now we’ll work together. I’m too old for this shit, Livy! It was supposed to be a clean break after the summit.”
“We don’t have any non-fraternization policies, Bree,” she says softly. “You just have to disclose to HR so we can ensure he doesn’t report to you.”
“I can’t do this.” My eyes are glassy, but I can’t even blame it on the stupid hormones this time; it’s pure anger. I’ve never felt more used in my life. “How are we going to work together? The last time I saw him?—”
“I told you, I don’t want details.”
“When he kissed me goodbye,” I continue, ignoring her interruption, “it wasn’t like a ‘that was fun’ goodbye kiss. It was… He walked me downstairs from his apartment that has entirely too many plants in it, then kissed me like something out of a movie. I’m surprised my leg didn’t do that little pop thing. It was almost as if he dared to stop kissing me, it would kill him. It was supposed to be a week, and now you’re asking me to work with him.”
“You like him.” Now her eyes are shiny, but her smile is wide. My dear friend is a romantic at heart, so I shouldn’t blame her, but I only have maybe six or seven months before maternity leave, and this asshole has convinced her he’s a good guy. I need proof before making accusations, but before I can even consider how to approach outing him, she wistfully adds, “You know I fell in love with Isaac the night of our first date.”
“Yeah, yeah, his little neck kiss. Have to admit, the man has moves.” I reach behind Livy for a tissue, then sit back in my chair, blotting the corners of my eyes to keep my mascara from running. “But I’m not in love with Jamie, I just can’t work with him.”
“I’ll need you to train him to cover your maternity leave, but we’ll have him report to someone else.”
“Okay.” I let out a sigh of relief. “Thank you.”
“For what it’s worth, I think you’re one of the reasons he took the job. It’s not like he’s giving up his sweet Canadian healthcare for triple-digit summers in a Sacramento apartment that may or may not have central air.”
