I nod as I recall the arrows firing down from above, the disbelief and distrust on the Singers’ faces. At first they were prepared to kill me. Except now …
‘What justhappenedout there?’
‘The Rain Singers have named you Om Shikara.’
‘Yes, I’m aware of that. Butwhy?’
‘You’re the most powerful Rain Singer that’s ever lived, Blaze.’
‘Even more powerful than you?’ I challenge.
Recognition flickers in those deep-blue eyes. He knows that I know what he is, but does he know that I knowwhohe is?
‘Will you take something to eat?’ River asks gently.
I pause, reluctant, then edge towards the table. All restraint vanishes the moment the first mouthful passes my lips, and I devour my plate like some starved animal, ignoring the pile of cutlery. I wonder briefly what Grandmother would say if she saw me eating with my hands. The thought fills me with annoyance, because Grandmother has no right to criticize anything I do any more, given that she concealed my true heritage and let me grow up believing I was some kind of freak, just like my mother before me.
River clears his throat. ‘Blaze, I wonder, do you know –’
‘That you’re my real grandfather?’ I say bluntly. ‘Yes, I do.’
I realize then that I’m not just angry with Grandmother. I’m angry with River, too. Perhaps it’s unreasonable and unkind, but reason and kindness feel beyond my reach right now. I’m hanging on to composure by a rapidly fraying thread.
My voice is quiet, biting. ‘All this time you knew and you saidnothing.’
‘Your grandmother forbade me ever to speak of it.’
I scoff, rage sparking. ‘Why does that not surprise me?’
‘She had cause to keep it from you.’
‘It wasyoursecret, too.’
‘It might’ve been mine to tell, but it was hers to carry.’ River speaks calmly, yet there is a diamond-sharp edge to his tone. ‘Your grandmother is of noble birth. She was the jewel of one of the most powerful pureblood families in the realm. Those raised that high have so much further to fall. Do you know what would have happened if word had got out? Her reputation destroyed, the honour of House Harglade forever sullied –’
‘You speak of honour, but what of honesty?’ I snap. ‘What of truth?’
‘Truth can be dangerous, Blaze. Your grandmother wasn’t just protecting herself but her children, and their children. If Analiese was named a bastard, the legitimacy of the entire House could have been called into question.’
I recall what Fox told me about growing up illegitimate: sneered at and disregarded by the court, a child held accountable for the circumstances of his birth – a fate my mother was spared, shielded as she was by Grandmother’s deception.
‘Did she ever learn who you really were?’ I ask quietly.
River’s face is pained. ‘I don’t believe so. My visits stopped before she was old enough to ask questions.’
‘Visits?’
‘I would often steal into Harglade Hall,’ he says. ‘Your grandmother would bring Analiese down to the crypt, where I’d be waiting. She was …extraordinary.’ River smiles softly. ‘She was still in her swaddling cloth, and yet fire itself was in tune with her every breath. When she smiled, the flames danced; when she cried, they blazed; and when she slept, they burned low, as though waiting for her to wake again. I would sit there for hours, just holding her.’ His voice cracks and I look away. ‘As she got older, the risks proved too great, so I kept my distance. But when your mother was branded an Heir, I couldn’t resist travelling to Cor Caval with the Court of Waves. I had to see her, just as I had to see you and your brothers. It’s why I came to your Name Day ball, why I volunteered to be the Aquatori trainer. I wanted to be near you, even if you had no idea who I truly was.’
I think back to what River said that first day of training at the Keep.
We meet at last.
I never understood the depth of those words until now. I swallow hard, my gaze fixed on the fire as more memories descend – River defending me before the other Heirs, telling me of the book about Melding, escorting me safely from the throne room just as my panic was about to spill over, giving me a clue for the first trial, carrying me back to my rooms after the second, sitting in my tent with Grandmother before the third.
He’s always been there, through everything. More than a mentor – a protector, a guardian, someone I’ve trusted, listened to, cared about.
Emotion wells in my eyes and I blink it away.
