I wonder what Hal would say, if he knew. Nothing good, I suspect, if their brief exchange in the arena was anything to go by. He hasn’t once mentioned his half-brother’s arrival during any of our conversations, seemingly keen to avoid the subject completely.
The prince takes a sip of wine. ‘I imagine you’re looking forward to getting back to training. Last I heard, River seemed most impressed with your progress.’ He lets out a sudden bark of laughter. ‘And River’s not the only one,’ he says, holding up his glass and running his forefinger over the fine layer of frost on the rim.
‘You might want to pour another one of those,’ I reply. ‘I’ve not figured out how to melt ice yet.’
‘Why don’t you ask Marina to help you?’
I arch an eyebrow. ‘Pass.’
‘Oh, come on. She’s excellent at simmer skimming, andshe’s all right when you get to know her. The Kalparas are one of the last pureblood Aquatori families in Ostacre, and very proud of it. Marina’s an only child, and her parents have always put an awful lot of pressure on her to be …’
‘A tyrant?’ I suggest.
Hal chuckles. ‘I was going to say perfect. Sure, she can be a little prickly. But you never know, you might come to like her.’
I don’t bother telling him that I find this highly unlikely, or that I would rather throw myself down the Rift than ask Marina for help.
Hal places his glass down. ‘I know these past few weeks haven’t been easy,’ he says. ‘I imagine it’s all incredibly overwhelming, especially for someone like you.’
‘Someone like me?’ I mean it to sound teasing, but it comes out slightly defensive.
‘I just meant with you having not really left home before,’ Hal explains.
‘Try ever,’ I say, perching on the edge of an armchair. ‘That is, unless you count the carriage ride from Nemeth to Valburn when I was ten.’
‘And what was the reason for that?’
I pause, suddenly self-conscious. My first instinct is to deflect. I don’t talk about my parents, not to anyone.
But there’s just something about Hal. Lots of somethings. I was drawn to him the moment I met him, and not only because of the way he looks but also because of the way he looks at me. He makes me feel special and beautiful and admired – as though I am some kind of rare jewel, shining all the brighter under his gaze. And he makes mefeel like I can trust him, even with the most breakable parts of myself.
‘When my mother died,’ I begin, ‘my father, he … well, he sort of … withdrew. He wouldn’t come out of his rooms, wouldn’t eat, wouldn’t speak to anyone.’ The words leave a bitter taste in my mouth. ‘He couldn’t take care of us any more, my brothers and I. So our grandmother decided that it would be best if we went to live with her – at Harglade Hall.’
Hal sits down opposite me. ‘And was it?’
I consider this for a moment. ‘Yes,’ I say finally. ‘At least, I think so. Flint thrived in Valburn. He loves to be in the thick of things. And Renly, he never knew any different. As for me, I suppose it was just …’
‘Trading one prison for another?’ Hal finishes.
I blink in surprise.
‘I’ve often wondered,’ he continues, ‘what did you do? To fill your days, I mean.’ When I don’t answer right away, he glances up, catches sight of my expression and backtracks. ‘Forgive me, I don’t mean to pry.’
‘No,’ I say, shaking my head. ‘It’s just, nobody’s ever asked me that before.’
Hal inclines his head. ‘Well, I’m glad to be the first.’
I settle myself more comfortably in my chair. ‘Books, mostly. I could spend entire days reading. It made me feel less removed, somehow. It probably sounds stupid.’
‘It doesn’t sound stupid at all.’
‘I wanted to learn everything I could,’ I say. ‘I studied history and poetry and cartography. I even learned six languages, just to pass the time.’
Hal’s eyes widen in disbelief. ‘Six?’
‘Well, six and a half. My Thavenian still isn’t up to scratch.’
He exhales in a low whistle, and says, ‘You’re remarkable.’ Which makes me blush. And forget how to speak. But before I can summon the means to string a sentence together, Hal’s smile suddenly wavers, then slides right off his face. ‘I don’t pretend to know anything of the pain you must have endured,’ he continues. ‘My mother is alive and well, and I accepted a long time ago that my father is first and foremost father to the realm.’ He clears his throat. ‘But I do know something about growing up in a gilded cage.’
