Since I’d come home, she’d been there for me countless times, just like Bea was for Bax.AJ was my person.She wasn’t just a light in my life.She was the sun in my universe, and her warmth and the connection she had to the earth beneath my feet were the foundation I was just now realizing we might be able to build a future on.A sturdy one.A happy one.
Stu nodded, smiling brightly, and then he looked at me.“Do you have a picture of Mama Kel?”
“No,” I said, “I’m sorry, but I-I don’t.I don’t have many things from back then.I had pictures on my old phone, but I lost it a long time ago.”
“It’s okay,” Bax said.“We do.When we couldn’t find you, we had someone dig a little into Kel’s background, and we found her senior picture from high school.But Stu, you don’t have any other questions for Mama or Daddy?Or Uncle Dixon?”
“No, well maybe one.What should I call you?”
All eyes landed on me again.I had no idea how to answer, but Bea saved me.
“What would you like to call him?”
“Mama,” Stu griped, “you can’t put me on the spot like that.I dunno.It needs to come to me organally.”
A snort burst out of Bax’s nose, and Bea corrected Stu again.“Organically.”
“That’s what I said.”
Bea stood and scooped him out of Bax’s arms.I wanted to hug him and ask for more time.I wasn’t ready for the night to end, but she carried him upstairs to get ready for bed, which left Bax and me alone.
When they were out of hearing range, he said quietly, “I’ve a been a little worried about the gossip around town gettin’ back to Stu.”He sighed heavily.“But I wanted to strangle you tonight.”
“I know.”
“I’ve wanted to strangle you for a long damn time.”
“I know that too.”
He crossed the distance between us and stood in front of me.“But right now, for some goddamn reason, I need to hug you.”He didn’t wait for my response.He wrapped his arms around me, patting my back like guys do, but then it became a real hug, and he held onto me like he loved me.
“I’m sorry,” I said.“I can’t imagine what I’ve put y’all through, but Stu forgot to tell you the second most important thing I said tonight.The first was that I love him, but the second is that I’m so damn lucky that you’re my family and that bringin’ him to you was the best decision I’ve ever made.
“I stand by it, brother.You saved me.You saved him, and I’ll never know how to make you understand how much that means to me.”
“That little boy,” Bax said, and he tried to clear the lump out of his throat, but didn’t quite manage it, “he savedmewhen I didn’t know how to let go of the past.He gave me a future to look forward to.Bea and Stu both did.Athena too.They all saved me, and he… Stuey, he’s?—”
“He’s your son,” I said, hugging my brother harder.“He’sourson, and nothin’ will ever change that.”
Dressed in soft,white pajamas with brown cows all over them, Stu climbed into his bed and smiled up at me and Bax on either side.He stuffed his bare feet under his bed sheet and rubbed them over the mattress.
Bea walked into Stu’s bedroom, carrying a manila folder, and when she stood at the foot of the bed, she pulled out a piece of paper and handed it to me.
I smiled when I saw Kel’s young face looking back at me.Kellie Gale.She had been a whirlwind of a woman, and she’d never know the gift she’d given me.Memories swirled around my head of the silver lunch car diner by the park we used to go to get high.We’d sip milkshakes and talk about our lives before the drugs.Mostly I talked about my brothers and sister, but Kel had big dreams, and she could talk for hours about wanting to be a journalist someday.
“She wanted to be on TV,” I told Stu as I handed him the paper.“She wanted to be the person who said, ‘We have breaking news tonight.’”
He took the paper from my hand and studied the person looking back at him.
“She’s pretty.”
“Yeah,” I agreed.“And she loved you.”
Nodding, he folded the paper and stuck it beneath his pillow.Bea turned to leave the room, but Stu said, “Mama, where you goin’?Aren’t you gonna read me a story tonight?”
She stopped in the doorway.“Oh, well, it’s really late, and I’m kinda tired.I thought maybe tonight Dixon could tell you a story.I’ve heard he’s really good at it.”
Stu propped himself up on his elbows.“You are?”he asked.“Like me?”
