“God, you look just like her,” I said as she stepped back and wrapped her arm around Stu’s shoulder.Everyone stared at me like I had cheeseball all over my face.
Athena beamed at the compliment.“And you look nothin’ like you used to.”
Looking down at myself, I dusted off the front of my second-hand T-shirt, thinking maybe I should’ve dressed a little nicer.
Too late now.
“The grill should be ready by now,” Bea said, cutting in and interrupting the awkwardness.“What’s say we move this party to the backyard?”
ChapterTwenty-Two
Dixon
“So,Dixon, where the hell have you been?”
Devo was the complete opposite of Bea.Although they were both outspoken, Devo shined a light on the awkwardness, and her question turned all heads in my brother’s backyard in my direction again.
My mama’s stare and her blatant need to know was the most intense.
“When Brand found me, I was in California near a little town called Mad River.After that, I wandered for a bit, but then I headed up to Alaska to work on my friend’s uncle’s fishin’ boat.I stayed there almost two years, then I landed in Oregon.Worked a farm for half a year or so and then for a guy in the Cascades.He let me stay in a cabin he’s got up there.”
“You’ve been busy,” Brand said.
“Alone?”Merv asked, her voice so full of pity, I could almost taste it.
“Yeah.”
“Were you lonely?”Athena asked.
Shrugging, I said, “Sometimes.”
“I like bein’ alone sometimes too,” Stu said as we all sat around the table and Bax turned to tend the burger patties he’d just dropped onto the grill.“’Cause then I don’t have to share my toys.”Climbing into Bea’s lap, he dipped a baby carrot into a puddle of ranch on her plate.When he bit down on it, thesnapwas loud, and before he’d finished chewing, he shoved a short stack of sweet pickles into his mouth.“But don’t you have a friend?”
“I do, actually,” I said, shading my eyes from the sun’s glare peeking through some trees as it set in the west.“I have a friend in California, Ernesto, but everybody calls him Nesty.And I have a friend right here in Wisper, AJ, and I made a new friend in Oregon.His name’s Murdoch.He’s a moose.”
Stu snorted.He hopped down and skipped over to me, then crawled into my lap.
A kind of euphoria rushed around inside me, like a warm wind kicking up a dust devil.It was the most natural thing in the world to hold my son, like I’d been doing it his whole life.But I hadn’t been.Tears threatened, but I sucked in a big breath and held it as he wiggled to get comfortable and turned to look at me.
It felt like my family held its collective breath, too, every single one of them waiting to see how I’d react.
“Your best friend’s a moose?”Stu asked.
I nodded.I didn’t dare speak in case all kinds of confessions spilled out of my mouth.
“That’s weird.What did you do?How do youknowhe’s your friend?And how do you know his name is Murdoch?Did he tell you?”
“No, he didn’t tell me.I guessed while we took walks together,” I said carefully, judging my own words, but I had it under control.“Climbed to the top of the mountain and yelled out so we could hear the echo.”
“Mooses can’t yell.”
“No.”I smiled at his no-nonsense view of the world.“You’re right about that.He bellowed.I yelled.And I told him about you.”
Or maybe only slightly under control.
“Me?But you didn’t even know me.”
“I did.You’re part of my family, and I told him about my family and how much I loved y’all and missed you.”
